Among All Nightmares

Chapter 24

Masaya naman ako. My heart is contented knowing that Dayne will always be with me.

Pero 'di ko maintindihan kung bakit kulang pa rin. I don't know what else can fill the void in my heart. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no pa maaalis 'tong lungkot. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no pa ako makakatakas sa mga bangungot.

Minsan, hindi ko na rin matukoy kung bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Basta naroon 'yung kakulangan sa puso ko.

How can I heal a wound if I don't know where it's located in the first place?

It makes me feel bad because I know how hard Dayne is trying to make me happy.

Pero hindi nagiging sapat.

And I know that it's not his fault. But in the deepest part of my heart, I'm expecting him to fill it all for me. Dahil kung hindi siya... Sino? May iba pa ba?

Pero alam ko rin na malaking kamalian 'yon. He's just a human being too. He has his own life himself. It's not his responsibility to complete me.

Akala ko madali lang makumpleto kapag nahanap mo na 'yung taong magmamahal sa 'yo. I guess the phrase 'You complete me' doesn't always work.

At least I'm trying to survive, right?

"Hey, nakita ko 'yung post ni Mayor. Cheap concert this Friday daw?" Banggit ko kay Dayne, "I've never been to concerts before. I'm thinking maybe I should try."

Kumunot ang noo ni Dayne sa sinabi ko. "I thought you hate crowds?"

I do. Kinakabahan din naman ako. But ever since he came to my life, nagkaroon na ako parati ng urge na sumubok palagi, kahit nakakatakot.

I nodded, "Kasama naman kita eh. What could go wrong?" I shrugged.

It wasn't hard to convince him. Hindi ko na nga siya kailangang kumbinsihin dahil gusto naman daw niya ako makasama kahit saan at kahit kailan.

I really thought nothing would go wrong, pero nang nando'n na kami, kakarating palang ay napatakip na ko ng tainga sa sobrang lakas ng ingay sa paligid.

Ginusto ko 'to.

We went to the VIP section. Siyempre, hindi naman nagpapahuli 'tong si Dayne.

I was tightly holding Dayne's hand the entire time- scared to get lost in the crowd.

Hindi naman matagal ang hinintay namin bago magsimula 'yung concert. Nang sumapit ang alas sais, may nagsasalita na kaagad sa harap.

"They brought a foreign clock," sabi ni Dayne sa 'kin. Kinailangan pa niyang ilapit ang bibig sa tainga ko dahil sobrang ingay ng paligid.

"Huh?" Kunot noo akong tumingin sa kaniya pero tumawa lang siya. I tried to process his joke in my mind, and it took me almost a minute to realize it. Sobrang delay tuloy ng tawa ko.

Hindi naman puro sikat na artists ang nandito, sa halip ay puro local bands. That's good. Mas naipapakita ang talent ng underrated bands at 'yung mga pasimula palang.

When the first band was introduced, loud screams filled the entire place that I had to cover my ears. This is obviously not my kind of peace.

I glanced at Dayne, and he was already glancing at me. Mukhang normal nalang sa kaniya 'yung gan'tong ingay.

Perks of being outgoing.

May kinuha siya mula sa bulsa niya at nang ilahad niya ito sa harapan ko, I saw two pairs of earplugs on his palm.

My heart softened. I really appreciate his thoughtfulness. Kinuha ko ang isa at nilagay ito sa tainga ko. Tinulungan naman niya ako at siya ang naglagay sa kabila.