babe? ● blackpink oneshots collection

the room in your heart • jenlisoo

Her eyes were starry like the night sky. There were tears as if the glass window moved into her pair. Her breath was unsteady. She breathed heavy as if wishing she could escape from her earthly body. Her face was expressionless, as if the exhaustion has taken over her whole.

It had been three years since Lisa had gone pass from the cancer. It had been three years since her last breath in her hospital bed, with her hand in Jennie's hopeless hand. It had been three years since everything was over.

"Jennie," a soft voice called, "you're drinking too much. Again." That voice came with her hand softly trying to reach Jennie's face, cupping her cheeks though unsure, fingers wiping her tears slowly and tenderly. Jennie's eyes was too blurry to know who was in front of her but her heart only remembered Lisa who would ever do so. Jennie's heavy heart full of Lisa was poured with the alcohol that night so her stream of tears overflowed and there was no stopping.

As Jennie lost herself in her thoughts, the voice called out her name once again. But she couldn't wake up from her dreams. She prayed it was Lisa's arms that took her and laid her on her bed. She wished it was Lisa's heartbeat that lied before her. Even when Jennie knew there was no way it was Lisa, she was weak and had lost all her strength to even tend to her own so she gave herself up to whomever angel that caught her.

"Nini.." That same voice. That voice was so dearly and warming and though Jennie's sight was hazy and her head was dazed that the blur made her unable to recognize the owner of the voice.

The unknown woman whom had tucked Jennie into her bed sighed. Her demeanor calm and soft, her hands slowly caressing Jennie's hair like a mother. Her expressions could not be clearly seen but it was sure unhappy and sorry. Her eyes were staring at Jennie, looking an answer to her question: if Jennie knew who she was.

Instead of sleeping soundly, Jennie's thumping heart urged her to sit and burst into tears again. She hugged the woman across her, dreaming it was Lisa. "It makes me crazy how I can not forget you over and over and keeping on missing you again and again.." Her sobs were loud but the woman pulled Jennie's head to her shoulders, lowering the volumes of the cries though not the amount of grief.

Jennie had truly lost her mind. She knew she wasn't supposed to continuously mourn for someone who could not come back to her life, especially not after years. But those years felt like seconds for the slowly ticking clock kept her coming back to the very moment she lost the only love of her life.

From the outside world, Jennie might seem alright. She was the master of hiding the fact that she was still hoping for a miracle where she could see Lisa again.

While Jennie thought that there was nothing to regret, Jennie also found herself secretly regretting every passing moment back then, regretting how she didn't say how much she loved Lisa enough and how she didn't show how much she wanted Lisa to stand by her. While Jennie thought that there was no one to blame, Jennie also found herself actively pinning herself to the board of wrongs for Lisa's death, and hiding that thought to the point it pained her enough to create nausea.

It turned out that every single second of Jennie's life after Lisa's death was just hell.

But there were these arms that circled around her body. There was this hand patting her back while a voice was repeating, "It's okay. Everything's gonna be alright." The reassurance that kept on softening Jennie's mind had kept her breathing.

As Jennie's sobs began to fade into the voids, she was laid down once again onto her bed. She slowly began to regain her consciousness, although not much but enough to recognize the woman.

Jennie was still taken aback that Jisoo would care so much for her. Even when she knew that Jisoo truly loved her, she still didn't know that Jisoo would so something like that for her. She realized that she had just hurt her feelings again, remembering how many times she had called out for Lisa.

"You can see me now?"

Jennie was still more than half drunk. She nodded, anyways. "Jisoo, I'm sorry."

"Shh.. It's alright." Jisoo's palms found their way to rub Jennie's forehead again.

"Thank you."

Jisoo nodded. It didn't matter if her feelings were one sided, because, for her, all that mattered was Jennie could sleep in peace.

It was truly hopeless, wasn't it? There was no way of being someone, wasn't it? Jisoo thought to herself that nothing was the best, after all, to want and to long for. There was no room left in Jennie's heart, but to hide within the barrels of Jennie and Lisa's love story. There was no room left but between the towers of stones Jennie had built in her heart, the tombstones of where she constantly begged and waited the sky to give her Lisa back. There was no room left but... Jisoo wasn't willing to give up, even when she was hurt.

"Let's just end it here," said Jennie with her croaking voice. "I can't stand hurting you over and over again."

"And I can't see you hurting yourself over and over again. If anyone's hurt here, it's you, Nini."

"I just... I just miss her." Jennie couldn't conceal that truth anymore. She couldn't hide that bottled up feelings anymore. She couldn't lie and say she had moved on when she hadn't. "It's not that I don't love you-"

"I know. I understand," replied Jisoo, "Take your time." Even when her heart broke slightly more, she trusted that time would slowly heal Jennie.

"I love you but I can't keep on giving you hopes that I will one day move on from Lisa."

Jisoo reached out and gently brushed a stray tear from Jennie's cheek. "I don't need you to forget Lisa," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "But you have to live on. Move on, no matter how slow. Even if you are still holding onto your memories of her... I'll be here, staying with you."

"I might not be Lisa, but let me be the wall for you to lean on when you remember her."

Jennie's heart clenched. Jisoo's words were like a balm to her wounded soul. It was a love that was selfless, a love that asked for nothing in return, a love that cherished Jennie's happiness above all else.

"You don't have to, Jisoo," Jennie said, her voice hoarse. "You deserve someone who can give you everything you deserve."

Jisoo smiled sadly. "I know. But, you, too, deserve someone who can give you everything you deserve and I need you to know that I will be here, holding your hand like this and telling you that everything's going to be alright."

"But-"

"I already have everything I've ever wanted. I think it's your time to have everything you need and deserve to own... to be loved, to be thought of dearly, to be remembered the way you loved, thought of dearly, and remembered Lisa."

Jennie looked into Jisoo's eyes, her own reflecting the pain and confusion that swirled within her. She saw a love in Jisoo's gaze that was both unwavering and heartbreaking. A love that was willing to wait, to endure, to simply be there for her, even if it meant living with the ghost of Lisa forever.

There was silence. There was that cold silence again, the very one that began from the moment Lisa took her final breath. But Jisoo's hands were warm. Her presence fought with the freezing quietness. Her smile brought Jennie to the surface again.

"Why?"

"No reason. Just... I love you."

Something shifted within Jennie. The weight of her grief seemed to lessen slightly, replaced by a flicker of hope, a glimmer of possibility. It was a long road ahead, a journey filled with grief and healing. But for the first time in a long time, Jennie felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of warmth in the cold, desolate landscape of her heart.

Maybe, just maybe, Jennie could learn to love again, to cherish the love Jisoo offered, without betraying the memory of the love she had lost.

Maybe, just maybe, there was room for love in her heart again.

Author's note: I haven't done author's note for some time but hey I missed you guys. This oneshot is inspired by Alchemy of Souls S2 because recently I've been obsessed with LJW and GJY. Also this is a continuation of my other oneshot: For The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth • Jenlisa. So, yeah, thanks for enjoying this one, hope you guys enjoy my other oneshots as well.