Why her? [CHAENNIE]

44[M]

It's about eight o'clock in the evening. Jennie has taken a shower, changed into a white T-shirt barely exposing her belly and gray pajama shorts, and now she is sitting at the counter in her own kitchen - it's already dark outside the window. The apartment is dimly lit by the soft yellow light from the lamps above the counter and the floor lamp by the flowers. The atmosphere is quiet and peaceful - just right for someone who is feeling very sad and wistful.

She ordered a batch of Thai noodles because she had neither the energy nor the mood to cook and pulled out a bottle of red semi-dry, stored from last year. One empty glass beside her and her phone in her hands. 

Jennie still hadn't unpacked the noodles, still hadn't uncorked the bottle, and still hadn't let the phone out of her hands.

She couldn't count how many times she had looked at Rose's profile that evening, how many times she had logged into their chat room, and how many times she had tried to call her. Every action made her feel a strong excitement and her heart beating wildly in her chest. She didn't know what to type, didn't know what to say and didn't know what to do at all. All Kim knew was that she missed her unimaginably badly and felt like she was missing out on everything most precious. From their goodbye yesterday and the silent one today - she felt so sick at heart and that residue just didn't want to go away, as if it just wasn't enough. Did she really think this goodbye to Rose would be enough for her? 

The girl realizes clearly - no goodbye to Rose would be enough for her. 

All that day the girl was lost. Despite the fact that the work did not give her a break, she felt empty in her soul. It was so lousy that she almost cried when she went into her office, which had recently belonged to Rose. 

There were no more her things, her smell and herself. Everything in the office reminded her of her and it made Jennie incredibly angry and frustrated and she had no idea how long it would take for her to forget Rose, to stop clinging to the memories every time she sat in the office, on the couch, the kitchen or the break room. Everywhere they'd been together for all those months. 

These thoughts only make her want to cry.

Now Jennie has been sitting at the counter with her phone in her hands for about an hour, once again looking through the photos with the blonde and hesitating to type a message. It was as if a balloon with hundreds of needles burst in her chest, piercing her heart and soul, tearing her chest from the inside. 

Jennie gets angry and freaks out at herself, then turns off the phone and throws it back on the counter. She hides her face in her palms and closes her eyes, sinking into that silence of the empty apartment and only the evening sounds of Toronto do not let her fall into thoughts finally...

***

Back in the flat, Rose finally felt peace and tranquility. The whole week had been crazy and hectic for her, and she literally felt like a squirrel in a wheel. She had to deal with so many issues, travelling to different places and that was only regarding work. The other part was even harder - saying goodbye to her friends, her mum and Jennie.

Finally stopping and catching her breath, Rose stands in the centre of the flat and looks around, allowing herself a split second to catch her breath and enjoy the silence. She leaves the phone in the living room and makes her way to her room. There's a strong urge to shower now, and then finish packing and getting ready for the morning flight, which she actually does.

Already sitting on the edge of the bed, looking around at the things stacked on it and the opened suitcase, Rose falls into her thoughts. This silence allows the thoughts that have been blocked all these days to break through, and she can't control it. The girl gets up from the bed and even a little irritably runs her hand through her slightly damp hair.