"the moth's apprentice" chat noir x y/n

Restless Oblivion

I didn't expect anyone but my own mother to sit by my bedside at the hospital. 

But there he was. 

Hands shoved in his pockets, staring absently at the wall as if he didn't really  want to be here, was Adrien Agreste. His chin was slightly tucked, and his eyes were unfocused -- not looking at me. 

Outside, it was still raining. The earth was piling up with everyone's tears, leaking into the gutters and flooding the streets of Paris. I couldn't think of a time when it had rained more, especially not in the summer. 

A dog barked. The rattling of nurses and carts pitter-pattered in the hallway. 

Adrien remained speechless, staring, now, down at the floor. He looked alright for someone whose mother had recently come back to life. That said, there were dark bags under his eyes and his skin looked paler than usual. 

"I got your letter," he said, finally opening that perfect mouth of his. His eyes slanted towards me, jerking back to the floor. 

"You got my letter." 

"Yeah." 

The water fountain outside my room buzzed through the wall. 

"You know, you don't have to be here," I said, closing my eyes and leaning against the pillow. My neck had been aching for days. The pillows here were in no way supportive, and there was a constant gap of space between my neck and the wall. 

Adrien swallowed, and I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "I know that." 

His words answered nothing, but he didn't turn to leave. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Do you want me to leave?" 

I said nothing, staring at the inside of my eyelids. It was all dark. Blots of grey. Watery light swam in between the cracks. 

Adrien's chair creaked and my eyes shot open. He hadn't stood up, but his feet were poised in a way that signalled he was about to. 

"No. I don't want you to leave. I want you to talk to me." 

"About what?" 

I blinked. "You know what." 

Colour bloomed in Adrien's cheeks. "My mother?" 

"No." 

"Then what?" 

"Us." 

"There is no us," Adrien said. 

That stung. I shifted in my bed. "Fine. Then you can go." 

Adrien didn't leave. He swallowed again. Crossed his arms. He looked uncomfortable. His eyes searched for words that didn't come. His leg twitched, as if he was about to stand up, but his body remained rooted to the chair. 

"I'm sorry," he said, finally. His eyes drifted over to where I lay. "About what happened. I don't -- I don't want you to..." 

"You don't want me dead?" I said plainly. 

"Of course not." 

I wanted to blurt something like "could've fooled me", but I didn't want him to make him feel guilty. This wasn't his fault. 

"I didn't do it because of you." 

Adrien nodded silently. The tension in his legs eased slightly and he sat back in the chair. "Why did you do it?" 

I shrugged. "What reason do I have to stay here?" 

"You have every reason," Adrien said, blanching. 

"You don't need to convince me," I said, sighing. "If you came here to tell me not to try again, you can leave. I'm not going to do it again." 

Adrien nodded again. 

A nurse entered the room to offer me food, but I wasn't feeling hungry in the slightest. Her footsteps tip-tapped down the hallway as she left. 

Rain dripped from the gutters, splashing into overflowing puddles. The sound of the rain on the rooftop echoed through the tiny room. 

I squirrelled a glance at Adrien. He still wasn't moving, or saying anything. His legs were crossed now, and he was staring at the wall ahead. 

By now, the sky was beginning to dim. 

My eyelids grew heavy. The beeping was monotonous in my ear. Once in a while, Adrien shifted in his chair. 

I closed my eyes and fell into restless oblivion.