Broken Wings

Chapter 14

I awake to birds chirping gayly in the tree and the warm sun shining down on me. I used to have a dream like this when I was small, before my dad died. I would wake up in the meadow with my dad calling my name I would run to him, and he would spin me around. unlike the dream though I am awake, my dad can't call me and my head rests on the chest of a sleeping boy. I must have rolled over in my sleep seeking warmth as the night got colder. I don't exactly know how Peeta will react to the position we're in, so I try and move slowly without waking him. My effort is unless for as I move Peeta presses lightly on the small of my back in his slumber securing me back down.

This turn of events should probably make me a little uncomfortable, and if it was with anyone else I probably would, but this is Peeta. I don't think I trust anyone more than I do him, because he is one of the only people that hasn't kept me in the dark, sure he kept his crush on me a secret, but we were kids and that doesn't even matter now. Things like what he said last night are just a habit now, purely in the light of the moment. Or are they? I'll be the first to admit that we aren't behaving like normal friends, and it isn't all his fault either, I have wondered what his lips on mine might feel like a few to many times to be innocent in the matter, but we aren't a couple. He could do a whole lot better than me that's for sure, but somehow the thought of him with someone else makes me cringe. I don't think it's the jealousy part, but more like the fact that Peeta almost all I have felt. My mother and I talk sometimes it's never to talk, but more to reassure ourselves that we did call. I mainly do it because I feel guilty to throw away her like that when Peeta and so many others don't have the opportunity to do so. Haymitch is there and I will always care for the drunk even if I deny it, but he is more of a distant father figure. He is always there when you need him until you are ok on your own again, he moulds himself into the woodwork again. I have Greasy Sea and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but she doesn't supply all that I need. I need someone to share my burdens with, I need to be able to help someone else in trouble, I need to help healing, but most of all I need to be needed. Peeta ticks all those boxes but one. I know he doesn't need me, but he still sticks around without being forced to. I don't know what would happen if he left. I would probably go back to the way I was before, not eating, slowly wasting away, alone until one day your gone. I'd have Buttercup I suppose but him being counted by me is so sad its laughable. I do know other people I just haven't put in the effort with them. Running through my list I realise the best option I have if Peeta leaves is Johanna. She and I are still close friends with talks every Tuesday, which is today. She is an excellent friend, who understands me. I share things I don't share with Peet, like the conversation with Deli. But when it comes down to me feeling sad or just being I would choose Peeta every time.

I can feel Peeta's chest pace speed up just slightly meaning he is awake. I don't move and try not give I'm any indication that I'm awake as well just to see his reaction to how we are lying. He raises his head a little to see me curled onto him and he sighs "How long have you been up?" I try imitating the breathing of someone sleeping to convince him I'm unconscious, and for a second I think it working. That is until, "I already told you are a bad liar, stop trying." I groan and hold him tighter not wanting to leave. I haven't been this comfortable in a while. Peeta laughs "Come on we need to get up, just imagine what Haymitch would say if he saw us like this. One thing is for sure, it would be something neither of us would like repeating and end up in blushing one way or another." This get me right up, because he is right. I can only imagine what he would say and personally I don't even want to do that. I grab my bag and panic because Haymitch is very observant for someone who never leaves his house. Which means he probably knows that Peeta and I didn't come home last night.

"Peeta, we need to get home now!"

"Uh huh!" he states, "The huntress can speak."

"Ugh, we don't have time for this Haymitch might be sleeping by the time we get back. We have a chance to get back without him noticing!" I'm about ready to go while he is just stretching. "You're wasting time come on, or I'll leave without you." I begin to move on when what he says next stops me.