Broken Wings

Chapter 34

Placing the phone back on the table, I walk slowly around the house looking for something to clean like the doctor said I should. The problem is no one has been in this house for a week and the person who was in here isn't as messy as I am. After a bit of mental debate, I make my way into the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief when I find some bread in the oven and a yet to be cleaned kitchen, on top of that Peeta is nowhere in sight so I can be left to my own thought. A normal person would probably be unhappy with the amount of flour strewn everywhere, the dishes in the sink and the sticky floor from some spilled sugar, but I am no normal person. However, it does confuse me as to why there is so much mess. Peeta I usually a cleaner cook, not only that but he isn't here to fix it. This can only mean that he is upset. So maybe the doctor was wrong about him caring about me in that way. Maybe Peeta only jumped in front of me today because he saw a friend in distress, or maybe he and the nurse had a fight. I can't say the thought doesn't make me smile. But my smile drops when I realise that would be useless for me anyway, since it wouldn't make a difference. He doesn't care for me that way and even if he did, I'd still mess it up. after that I just keep finding different ways to deny why I would mess it up.

When im finishing mopping Peeta walks in and takes one look around before dropping his gaze to the floor and murmurs "you didn't have to do that." I would tell him that its no problem and I was glad to do it, but im distracted by the swelling shiner on the left side of his face. I'm kicked into overdrive like I always am when he is injured or in pain one way or another, and in two seconds I'm at his side with a bag of frozen peas. A little roughly I push him onto the kitchen stool and grab his chin so that I can treat the swelling before treating the small cut. My eyes flicker to his for a second to check for any pain, only to realise he is staring at me. I try focusing back to the wound but can feel the blood pooling in my cheeks under his intense gaze. It isn't soft like he's just looking, but hard ilike he is studying me or trying to understand me, the thought is almost comical since I don't really even understand myself. I can see him move his hand up in the corner of my eye but make it a point not to look at his eyes as I continue to hold the ice against his face. When his hand touches my face though my eyes close and I take a deep breath as I melt into his touch. Suddenly I feel calm and somehow safer, even though im in no danger. "I should call the hospital." He sighs, but I freeze as my stomach knots up in my throat. In a swift motion I take his hand from his face and put it on the surface, full of condensation, of the peas and say in a rushed voice, "don't let me stop you then" and turn to leave. I ignore his calls for me and go to the room that I'll be locking myself into until Sunday.

I strain my ears to try and here what he is doing downstairs but come up short when I am only able to make out quiet mumbles and his feet moving about. After a while I hear him start moving from place to place preparing for the day to come and making sure the is enough firewood to last the day and night. As the hours pass of listening and dozing off to sleep, I hear the screeching of Buttercup coming from my house. I look out the window see Gale carrying the cat by the scruff of his neck and flinging him out the door on the snow. The cat tries to land on his feet, however the force Gale used to throw the cat has caused that task almost impossible. Im shaking with anger once again when I see that the cat is limping. In an instant im out the room and down the stairs I breeze past Peeta who is also up and ready. Without a thought, I breeze past him and out the door.

Gale is so caught up in his rage that he doesn't see me standing at the front door watching, Peeta at the ready behind me. I see him breath in rage as he gets my bow and arrow from behind the front door. "If im dead to her then so should you!" he roars and raises my bow. I make the connection a millisecond later. The delayed response earns me a slice on the side of my leg as I scoop up the cat. I hiss in pain as I trip into the snow, managing to twist not to hit the cat. As im getting up I hear a ramble of apologies as Gale comes towards me. I ignore him and keep limping and wincing back toward Peeta's house. The owner himself comes to help me walk back and I hear Haymitch come and stop Gale's continuous approach. Im About to break the thresh hold when I hear a gruff plea. "Katniss please!" I stop and hear the breath hitch in Peeta's throat, I sigh and turn around with his help, to face Gale. "I just need to explain myself, haven't I at least earned that?" I feel all eyes on me, from Peeta's not so subtle side glances to Gale's pleading stare, and Haymitch's scowling glance. But I take my time because they all know I need to process things. As far as I know Gale had kept up his end of the bargain while I was in both of my games, by keeping my family safe when I couldn't. not only that but he was my closest friend for years before. I suppose I do owe this version of Gale this at most, not for who he is but who he was. But I don't want to talk directly to him, I won't.

I take a deep breath and say, "You can stay in my house until the earliest train leaves on Sunday, just don't touch my room or Prim's." again I take a breath at her name and wish for a reassuring squeeze of my hand from Peeta, but it doesn't come. The anger I feel about this gives me enough strength to continue. "I will not be talking to you, and you will not even try to come to me. You can leave a letter in my kitchen before you leave. I am not saying I will read it, but I promise I'll try." I turn to Peeta, "If you don't mind me sleeping here for a while I'd like to go inside now, if not I'll stay with Haymitch." I'm disappointed witnessing a melancholy and a dare say reluctant nod from Peeta I turn and look at Gale, who is still behind the blockade of Haymitch. I give a curt nod and turn around with Peeta and go inside, I wait until the door is closed before letting the anger with Peeta unfold. I wrench my arm out of his grasp and move to the couch. I put down the purring cat and grab the first aid kit that was put in the drawer after I stitched up Peeta's hand, before assessing Buttercup for injury. All the while Peeta glares at me as if seeing red. Buttercup seems to be fine only saw from landing wrong, but he should be fine in no time. sighing a little I sit down and dress my own wound on my left leg just above the ancle. The cuts that deep and it shouldn't leave that much of a scar, but it would make much of a difference if it did though, I'm already a patchwork of them.

Going to the kitchen I breeze past a tense Peeta, fists clench and teeth gritted he looks as though he may pop. But I can't have this fight with him now, not with my thoughts all muddled. So, I grab my cat, some of the loaf on the counter. "I'm going to my room, whether you want to see me or not is your choice, I know we need to talk, just please let me get my head together." I sigh and turn around at the bottom of the stairs, only to witness a hurt, angry and teary Peeta Mellark. I don't know if this would be pushing any boundaries, but I need it and it'll show my appreciation of him being there to help me. so, without any time to over think it I put down the cat and walk into him wrapping my arms around his sturdy and tense frame. I almost cry when he doesn't hug back, and I pull away gutted and fully expecting the face of disgust that showed up in my nightmares while Johanna was here. Instead, I find the same expression as before put with less of the anger and more of the hurt. the knot in my stomach feels like it may stay permanently, as I slowly turn and walk away and retrieving my cat, who I squeeze the life out of to try and numb the sadness. "Katniss, i..." but he falls short. I fill in the silence once more, "No it's okay, I was out of line and I'm sorry." I look at my feet which now stand half-way up the stairs, not daring to make eye contact. "Thank you for your help today." Taking the chance and looking up once again I see that the rage has returned to him, but he just gives me a small nod of his head in acceptance of my appreciation. I start to feel my lips tremble like a baby, so I bite the inside of my cheek. Buttercup starts to struggle in my hands as he moans for me to let go, breaking me from being frozen in one spot and I move to Peeta's guest room. I make a point of slamming the door, hard enough Haymitch probably flinched all the way at his house. I'm surprised to hear another door slam from the front door but take no notice of it and take deep breaths to calm myself.