Broken Wings

Chapter 20

It's a long trip but the journey isn't painful like the last one, probably because of the care Peeta is taking with his steady gait. I try make myself as light as possible and hold myself up using his shoulders and neck, which is harder than it looks considering I only have one arm I can effectively use. I'm so concentrated on trying to gracefully tangle my arms around him that I ignore his protests until I cover his face in my attempts. His bellows turn into something louder and more annoying. "Katniss you going to make me drop you. Stop squirming." But me being me, I ignore him because I have managed to get my arm somewhere near my planned destination. "Katniss I can't see!"

"Just give me a second." I almost have it and "uh haaaa!" My triumph soon turns defeat as we fall to the ground after Peeta's foot catches onto a root. Thankfully Peeta spares me pain and twist so that I fall on top of him, causing an 'oof' to escape him as I land on his chest. I'm quick to roll of him and check if he is okay because that would have hurt him way more than it did me. "Are you okay?"

He groans in affirmation though eyes are closed as he regains the breath lost when I landed on him. Pushing himself up he glares at me. "What were you are doing?" He moans, in a way that makes me feel more guilty than defensive. "I'm sorry I was trying to make myself lighter for you." At this he lets out a mixture of a sigh and a chuckle. "Katniss, I have carried bags of flour heavier than you, and in case you haven't noticed you're a lot smaller than me."

"I wouldn't say a lot smaller" I send back rolling my eyes and start standing up on one foot. Helping him up he laughs and once on his feet he comes closer to me, stands as straight as he can making him tower over me, so much so that I have to look a way up to meet his grinning face, but I refuse. Peeta however, is enjoying himself and pulls my head up so I can look up into his eyes and says, "I would." with a chuckle.

You'd think when was done teasing me he would let go of my face, yet his hand stays, gentle yet firmly holding me in place. I know I should look away, but I can't. His mesmerising eyes have captivated me so that after he moves his hand away, we still stay. I watch as his pupils dilate as they gaze into mine, not in a worrying way but as though he can't look away either. Is it possible that he is stuck same as me, surely not there is no way my eyes could captivate like his. The air starts getting heavy all of a sudden and with our close proximity I get butterflies deep inside me. He cups my face with his warm hands, his stitches from earlier tickling me slightly, as his eyes move to my lips, mine move to his and slowly we start to lean inward. The butterflies turn into wolves running around as I move to connect his lips to my slightly parted ones. I should stop because of the pain I could and do cause him. I should stop because if I permit this I might permit to loving Peeta and anyone I love leaves me in one way or another. I can't lose him, but I stay staring at and waiting for his lips. I shouldn't want this, but I do.

It's like time has stopped around us as if our world is giving us the time to enjoy this moment. He is close enough for to feel his breath on my lips making the pull towards him stronger. He stands there not stopping me as I put my heart on the line with the risk of his rejection. But I'm trusting Peeta and hopefully he wants this to. Just as our lips are about to touch, I feel him pull away suddenly, so suddenly I fall over. I take the blow on my left but I still end up on my broken arm but that isn't what hurts. "Crap! Katniss, I'm sorry but we need to get home now!" His voice is full of urgency but don't pay attention I just let him pick me up and begin to run home. Presides the numbing pain I feel rain drops on my skin which is strange since the sky is clear. Looking up I see that it isn't rain but the tears of both mine and Peeta's eyes.

Looking into his wet orbs of blue just ads to my pain because I can see the reason for the rush. His medication must be wearing off because is beginning to have an attack. Funny how now that I know about it, they won't leave him alone, just another way I have hurt him. How could he even argue that it isn't my fault, it's so ridiculous I don't even want to comprehend the delusion in his head. But I still want to help this one last time before I lock myself away from him forever.