Broken Wings

Chapter 11

It's about 9, we need to get going if I'm going to show him, it is a long hike. I figure it will take about three hours to get there. I would have loved to have left an hour ago, but I didn't know until now. So, I get up to find Peeta. Usually when he gets upset Peeta leaves and sits on the porch swing in the back, with a view of what's left of the seam and the woods. One is depressing but with further journey is we're I find joy, peace and respite of the cruel world that is my head. Peeta once told me that is typically our lives right now. Trying to get passed the sadness and heart ache to reach that place of peace. I guess he's right, and we seem to be moving there at a steady pace, when a stumbling block gets in the way of one, the other kicks it of the path as best they can. We do this for each other because we care, and that is what helps the most, I think. Not wanting to let the other down, and the simple fact of knowing someone cares. Sure, enough Peeta sits gazing into the distance, probably wondering if we'll ever reach it.

"Peeta," he turns his head to acknowledge me, but doesn't take his eyes of the horizon. So, I sit down and stare that way next to him. Looking dead ahead I say, "I want to show you the lake." In my peripheral vision I see him turn his head to look at me, but stare straight ahead. I really want to show him, but being such a special place to me, it scares me opening up this much. He knows about the lake from the stories. He also knows I have shown it too little to know people.

"Are you sure? That seems like something you'd only want Gale to see." The mention of Gale snaps my head to him. How can he say such a thing even when Gale was my friend, he would never have cared how special it was to me. "Yes, I was sure but if you have the audacity to suggest I want his company than maybe I was wrong." For some reason a smile forms on his face. He jumps up and offers his hand.

"Never! Lead the way Katniss, didn't think I rated that high in your good books." His smile is contagious and reaches my lips as I take his hand. It's worked, Peeta can understand now that I don't blame him for what happened in the hospital room.

"Hold your horses I need a few things first." I run over to my house get some water, my bow and arrows, some bread and goat cheese, and stuff them into my hunting bag. I quickly put on a swimsuit, Cinna left me, under my clothes and when I return, I snatch back Peeta's hand, and we are in our way. I'm giddy with excitement to show him my world, now I can show him the stream, the strawberries will be ready to harvest so I am stopping on the way. I glide through Seam not looking up, because I don't want to kill my mood. That is unlit Peeta stops me, or more rather freezes with an iron grip holding me in place. I fail to stop myself from looking up and start to have that sickening feeling inside my stomach. I look around and think one coherent thought, 'I killed my hometown' it seems I'm not the only one struggling. Working with Peeta for the past few weeks has given me the experience to know when He needs to stop and cool down, but I can't do that now. Not many of us are back yet but a fair few, making what Peeta is going through a very public affair. Something that we have had way too much of for both of our lifetimes.

"Peeta, I know this is hard but its not the place for this right now," I say in as gentle a voice I am capable to do with my voice breaking. "I won't push you hard I promise, but just let me take you to the woods. Its more private." His eyes are shut tight, but he nods, and I lead him the shortest way possible to the woods. With some difficulty I take my hand back so that we can go under the fence. When I offer my hand back Peeta takes it eagerly, like I'm the only thing holding him together. We cross the meadow and as soon as we are hidden from view, we fall to our knees to numb to cry. I make sure Peeta is alright but it's useless with him being in the same position as me. I want to move us forward but when I try talk only one thing comes out "I'm sorry."

My emotions are not slow to build they snap. Break from a bank inside of me I never know is filling. That's what has happened again as I find myself on the forest floor. "It's my fault. I'm the reason district twelve looks like it does and I sorry" after that I just repeat 'I'm sorry' over and over again. And I don't stop until long after Warm arms have wrapped around me pulling me close to the only one, I'm truly safe with.

"Don't ever apologise for that, you hear me. It was not your fault. No matter how much you blame yourself, it will never be your fault." I put myself back together slowly. Not because he's right, he's not, but because I remembered why I'm in the woods. And this is just the reason for it. Peeta will always have my back no matter how unfair I am, which is good because I'm the most unfair person I know of. He looks at me as if to make sure I understand as I bring him to his feet.

"You're wrong, but let's leave it at that, we are losing precious swimming lesson time."

Peeta looks disappointed at this but gets up and moves forward. When we reach the strawberry patch, he forgets his disappointment and really gets excited, we manage to fill a decent amount for with our lunch and try some now.

"We should stop, we have enough, and we can always pick some for your kitchen later." I say, and his face is so funny, like I've just told a kid they must leave their friends to go home. "Just a little more?" He pouts and at this moment he looks ridiculous. From the face to the way he sits with his legs sprawled and shoulders slump. It makes me laugh so hard I can't even speak. Every time I think I've calmed down I look over to Peeta with his arms now crossed and he is trying his best to keep an above it all expression on his face. When I finally do calm down, we start to move on again through the trees. Since I'm not hunting today, I just enjoy the sounds around me, like the birds and even Peeta's heavy tread. Somehow that is my favourite sound of them all, the constant sound of his presence. He brings a steadiness to everything helping to keep me centred, it's a skill he has always had. My first experience of it was in the chariot through the city centre the first-time round, though he does his part the quiets it comes out the strongest for me. I could be experiencing something horrific, but by his side I feel stronger and better equipped to handle the situation. It's something that I lost when he was captured, and it took a while for me to have it again.

When I reach the clearing where my lake is Peeta is a couple passes behind me. The lake is stunning with the waterfowl making small ripples in the water that glisten and shines with sun light. Every where around is green except for the grey mass of rock which forms a cliff that juts out over the lake. To the far right of the scene in the small hut where I met Bonnie and Twill. So many memories surround this place and most of them are good. Today seems to be becoming another happy one as Peeta comes up behind me and takes in the view, saying.

"And you said I was the one with an eye for beauty."