chapter 43
As I lifted my phone to my ear, I heard his ringtone not far from me. Realizing what that meant, I closed my eyes, more tears cascading down my cheeks like a waterfall. He hadn’t taken his phone with him.
The silence overcame me, the darkness no longer frightening.
I am my greatest enemy.
“Come back.” I whispered to myself. Slumping down against the wall, a train of horrible thoughts ran me over. It was howling outside, hail now attacking the windows like a storm of bullets. I opened my eyes, resting my pounding head against the wall as I brought my arms around my knees.
I don’t know for how long I stayed like that. Don’t know for how long I cried.
I was worried more for his safety than anything. Zayn was reckless, angry; the torturous flame burning in his eyes was tormenting me, the blazing look on his face never leaving my memory. I would never, ever forgive myself if I became the reason it would extinguish.
It took me nearly three hours to pick myself up and bring myself to bed. I wearily pulled my dress off of my body, carefully hanging it on a hook. I took my earrings off and placed them on the vanity before changing into my pajamas. I turned to look at my bed. It felt painfully surreal as I laid down, the frigidity of the warmth striking me.
I closed my eyes, but sleep never came.
And then my phone began to ring.
My eyes flew open and I scrambled for it, hoping that it was good news and not bad; that it was Zayn.
“Hello?”
“Eliza…”
My heart fell, realizing who it was. It took me a moment to answer. “Is he with you?”
“Yes.”
“Let me talk to him.”
“He’s going mental, Eliza, he won’t tell me what’s wrong, I figured you would know–”
“Where is he, Niall?” I asked, not wanting to explain anything.
“He’s in the toilet.”
“Is he alright?”
“Yeah, he’s been here for a while, but just, he won’t say anything to me. I’ve never seen him angrier but he hasn’t spoken a word since I let him in. Just showed up at my door at one this morning and… I don’t know the rest. What happened?”
“I just, I don’t know, I’m–”
There was a terrible instance of silence in which I felt like closing my eyes and never opening them again.
“Do you want me to send him back?”
“Yes.”
Niall sighed. “Okay. Okay, Eliza. Go to sleep.”
“Don’t let him drive in this weather.”
“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right… I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
I hung up.
I studied the ceiling, my eyes adjusting to the darkness with ease.
It was killing me – his anger, him not being here. It was horrifyingly painful in a way I’d never felt before. It made me sick to my stomach when I realized that there was no one to blame but me.
◊
I had fallen asleep to the melancholy sound of the wind dying, the whirling snowflakes outside my window hypnotizing me to a scanty sleep.
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Destiny (Zayn Malik FanFic)
Fanfiction“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my c...
