Destiny (Zayn Malik FanFic)

Chapter 64

chapter 64

Mr. Floyt had once said that happiness would come to me if I was good and kind and wished for others what I wished for myself. Happiness was supposed to be a decision - a choice, made by your own inner self. I was brought up believing in the justice of God, of life, of love and being - that good things happened to good people.

Now I see that this is nothing but a big, fat lie.

Happiness cannot be thrust upon a person. No matter how hard you wish for it, you can never truly make yourself happy simply by choosing to be. Contentment is not happiness. Grief and sadness are just as real - so by choosing to be happy, we ignore the reality of life, therefore creating a fake kind of happiness - a pathetic and sad imitation of the real thing. On a further note, bad things happen to good people and good things to bad. There is no link.

I sat in a black cab, on my way to probably one of the most important weddings of my life, and here I was, thinking louder than I could stand. How do you shut your brain up? Beside me sat Sabrina, and like me, she was quiet and obviously lost in her thoughts.

If someone were to hold back the curtain of my mind and take a glimpse inside, they would see the brain of a woman who had recently turned twenty three years old. They would probably detect a bit of distress only related to the anxiety for the evening; I had a greater task than simply attending. And then if the intruder peered a little closer and pushed the curtain all the way back, they would see that I had chosen to be happy.

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When we arrived at the Delrac, I was surprised because it looked ten times bigger than the first time I had been here. I figured it was due to the lack of screaming people hovering by the gates surrounding the red carpets and the dozens and dozens of expensive, flashy cars and the bunch of photographers strolling around, interviewing as many people as they possibly could. This time around, there were just a few cars pulling into the line, waiting for the valets to take their cars in turn.

“Well, we’re here.” Sabrina told me as she grabbed her clutch before wrapping her jacket around her. “I still don’t understand why they decided to have the wedding in winter…” She muttered, filing out of the cab. I paid the driver who smiled and wished us a good evening. I had to stop myself from frowning because I knew this evening would be anything but good. Still, I smiled and thanked him.

We walked down the long lane to the massive staircase that twirled up to the giant, wooden doors and led into the venue. I closed my eyes for a while, trying to block out the memory of walking these stairs, arm in arm with Zayn, just over a year ago.

“Stop doing this to yourself,” I muttered quietly.

“What?” Sabrina asked, looking up from her phone. She was a step behind me and gave me a curious look.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly.

She widened her eyes in concern. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick? You look terrible…”

I smiled sarcastically, “Thank you. Your kindness is touching.”

Sabrina laughed before hurrying up to catch up to me. “These bridesmaids’ dresses are a pain,”

I shrugged, looking down at the white dress I was wearing. “They’re not bad. At least we had a choice.” When we’d finally reached the top of the stairs, I walked over to the huge doors and the greeter heaved them open, letting Sabrina shuffle in before me.

“Holy,” She said, stopping right at the door and looking around. “Mother of god! This place looks like a palace.”

Sabrina was right. I had forgotten exactly how stunning the Delrac was - in the phase and hassle of hurrying over for Lisa and Adeel’s wedding, I had pushed aside my own feelings of regret and guilt.