Destiny (Zayn Malik FanFic)

chapter 59

chapter 59

I couldn’t breathe.

My lungs had inflated to the size of balloons; my vision seemed to be blurred by a thousand kaleidoscope colours; my heart, which had been silent, had increased its beating tenfold; and my mind – my mind was buzzing with my thoughts swirling in and out of perception…

What on earth was he doing here?

I couldn’t believe it. This was fate, destiny, luck. Anything but an accident.

Gaping at Zayn as I sat on my bar stool, frozen like ice, I fixedly removed Seth’s jacket from my body. It was hot inside the pub – the unnatural crowd of people that lounged around inside brought warmth along, making it hotter than it had to be. Finally, when the jacket was off, I stared at Zayn in a trance as he fixed the mic stand.

To say that he hadn’t changed would be an outward lie. His hair, which usually poked out of his beanie, remained tucked inside. The familiar, crooked, twisting grin that was almost always on his face had vanished completely, leaving no trace of it behind. His skin, which had always been of an olive complexion, was now a striking, almost ghostly colour. And the bags under his eyes accounted for what I assumed to be many sleepless nights.

He wore a simple black sweatshirt that swam over him and some baggy sweat pants that I didn’t pay much attention to but what caught my attention was the silence that followed the moment his fingers began strumming on his guitar.

Zayn sat quietly on a stool on the stage. Everyone here seemed to know him and recognize him which seemed odd – I was strongly reminded of the times when I’d be zoning out in class and would reawaken to the sound of laughter. It felt like I was well outside an inside joke I wasn’t meant to understand, like everyone here was in on some sort of secret that I’d intruded on… But the moment Zayn started singing, all thoughts fled my mind.

“I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing…” He began. The lights had dimmed now and the pub remained quiet as though a prophecy was to be revealed. “Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in…”

I held my breath as he looked at the crowd. Had he seen me?

“‘Cause, I got time while she got freedom. ‘Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even.”

My eyes widened as I realized who this song was about.

“Her best days would’ve been some of my worst… She finally met a man who’s gonna put her first.” Zayn shook his head, closing his eyes, “While I’m wide awake, she’s no trouble sleeping… ‘Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don’t break even, even, even.”

Zayn’s eyes flew open and for a second they were alive again– “What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay? I’m falling to pieces… I’m falling to pieces.”

It felt like someone had taken my heart and twisted it; if this was true… then it meant what I had wished all along had been true. Was Zayn torn up? Was he as damaged and twisted as I was? Was he hurting?

“They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words are gonna stop the bleeding. ‘Cause she’s moved on while I’m still grieving but when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, even.”

I glanced at the drink in my hands and instead of feeling elated at the thought of making things better with him, I felt sad and miserable. People, however, were tapping along to the music as though it was meaningless.

“What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay? I’m falling to pieces… I’m falling to pieces… I’m falling to pieces…”