𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 | Inquisitormaster & Zsquad| Danganronpa

☆𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟕☆ || 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭

SOPHOMORE YEAR- MARCH

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

TW: Vague mention of Self-harm

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

~Darkness's POV~

If there's anything I am, it will be the definition of alone. Nowhere is safe for me as I can always feel the sense that eyes are burning into every inch of me, trying to dissect what they can to unearth the answers they need. Or want, more importantly. As many times as it can be told to me, I wouldn't believe that someone likes me and enjoys my company. No, it couldn't be true. Everywhere I pass through, that prickling sensation shadows me. It's hell. Common sense makes sure it's evident that this feeling won't be ceasing anytime soon.

Rocking back and forth endlessly is one of the only things I can bring myself to do now. But it didn't work. I tried bringing my mom to mind, futile attempts to console myself. Only my mother comes to me without a single motherly instinct in her body. She never held me, or sang to me, or even saw me as anything relatively close to a daughter. Success and the future were prioritized. As long as I wasn't resorting to fighting in the trenches, where brawls and drawing blood were my only means of making a living, she appreciated me. Hunting, boxing rings, bets, they were the only ways keeping the house in our possession, aside from my— ... their father's bottles of alcohol, staining the walls with its pungent scent. That house is theirs.

But my mother saw through that. Trial after trial, that's what our births truly were. Light shined in their futures once I had come along, and I can almost remember the exact moment that a STEM book was issued to me. They saw something in me. Yet, their views contradicted the other and inched closer to their ineluctable departures. Their dad was furious that my mother wanted something for herself, that she didn't want to live in such a gloomy, desaturated life. All of the limiting opportunities in this household were her way of contesting against his twisted views. However, those views were strong enough to pry me from my own. My sister's arms held me right to her, shaking violently as my mother—that witch—pulled me away from her and closer to the threshold that would separate us for years at a time. I've been devastated before, and yet no amount of hurt has been comparable.

Not once have I ever come close to experiencing a girlhood with anyone. Anything I did have, it was for the sole purpose of victory, to get ahead of everyone else. No one liked me. Tears are my signature at science competitions, and it's become a rumor that I utilize them for pity points, regardless of how I tell anyone what I'm feeling. The reminder that my intelligence is a blessing rather than a curse was persistent, though I felt like every thought or conundrum I concluded to was a contribution to my affliction.

I find myself in a tormenting struggle as the days blur into episodes of nausea, with insanity relentlessly vying for control of my thoughts. Everything swims through the broken dams of things I hadn't even known were present in my mind. What else could be taken from me? Nothing. I've lost everything. My expertise haunts me, a jarring memory, the only thing I have to beg to be stashed away; it stays as a reminder of who I've become. No sanity left to spare, no one to rely on, and I was nothing but an empty, hollow husk. That girl who had once worn my name and reputation with pride, I miss her. Something so mere and apparent had stripped her of her life. Curiosity. It had brought about her demise, just as it had with the cat in the past.

Burrowing my teeth deep into my lip does nothing but draw blood. Useless, disposeable blood. The red reminds me of her tie, the color of the nails that run along the sides of my head. Such a gentle touch that calms my nerves, grounding me. Her nails—Junko's nails—have done so much for me. She has done a lot for me. Problem-solving is a deep talent of hers, and I can't tell her as many times as I'd like. She's saved me, truly. She's always there for me when I need her, she'll always be there, coaxing me out of my breakdowns. The tingle reminiscent of the feeling presses into my cheeks, and I lay my hands over the spots. Levi's remarks are irrelevant, she says, and I can't help but abide. Junko has cared about me more than anyone... She can see me.