A single bullet // M.C ✔️

87

Words caught in my throat as they both looked at me expectantly. My matcha was the most important thing in my life at the moment, the only thing stopping me from running away and breaking down.

"Nicky?" Alex sighed. "This is a waste of time. Just leave."

"No, no, I can do this," I muttered, panicking and shaking my head. Finally, I looked up at them both, eyes red-rimmed and sore. "I need to do this," I corrected, focusing my eyes on Alex more as this whole thing was aimed at him. "I need to talk to you about Michael, and I need you to listen to me fully and understand."

"Okay, now you're scaring me," he said, his whole demeanour changing as he stiffened up.

"Michael's the leader of the gang," I said, not wanting to reveal it that way, but my mind decided it would be best to just rip the band-aid off as they say. "And we really need your help."

"No way. Babe, get Austin out of here," he handed her his cup of tea silently, ushering the pair of them out and turning the tv off, leaving us in complete silence, causing me to stress internally over what he's going to say. "How could you ask me to help?" He spat out as soon as they were out of hearing distance; Austin can't hear this chat.

"Alex, I- Morgan has said he'll help if you do, so we really need you."

"You're unbelievable." He spat out, causing me to let out one long sigh, closing my eyes gently before letting them reopen.

"Alex, please."

"If I listen and even consider helping, I want the full truth, Nicky. I don't want to be fed some bullshit lies to make me help, and then everything's the complete opposite," I gulped, half expecting him to want to know what's going on. I never really ask him for help, and to do it at this time was really not me.

"Fine," I thought, mentally rewinding my life since meeting the boys. I could rattle off everything that had happened, hands nervously rubbing against each other as I abandoned the matcha. "I was kidnapped by Michael. I say kidnapped more like taken for protection."

I had come to the realisation that Michael wasn't really a kidnapper. I wasn't kept against my will and locked up; I could leave whenever I wanted... and I didn't. The thrill of it all excited me from the very beginning. It was a stark contrast to my normal office job, and I craved the action. I'll be grateful for them taking me away from that life and realising I didn't want to waste my only life stuck in an office, writing boring lies in papers and articles. I wanted to make something out of my life, something exciting. If I ever wrote a book about my life, people would want to read it.

I could tell Alex was holding back from speaking in case I stopped and called quits on this whole thing, biting at his lip harshly and wringing his hands in his lap, occasionally glancing at the archway behind me in case Austin popped in.

"One of the other leaders became my boss after he was killed. Another was a backup in case the main one was busy out doing business. I got close to them, Alex, you have to believe me. Kensie is dating one as well, has been for ages, and she's fine. I'm fine."

"Kensie as well?" He spoke quietly, making me nod a bit annoyed. I threw her under the bus as well, but it's needed so he knows they aren't bad people.

"I was taken by the opposite gang when we were at a meeting when I was pregnant," I said, my hands hovering above my stomach as I blinked away tears. It had been a while since the emotions about it had hit me so hard, and I had put on a brave face. But seeing Alex's sympathetic eyes staring back at me made something snap in me. I craved the family attention and emotion that I had only had friends to provide, and it wasn't the same. They understood everything, but they hadn't lost a family member like I had. Clearly, Alex was feeling the emotions too. "That caused me to have the miscarriage, Alex. Not Michael, not me, and definitely not this life I've found myself stuck in."

"Dad wasn't my dad."

"What, don't be stupid, Nicky? Yes, he was." Alex scoffed and then chuckled, as if I had said the funniest joke ever. He slapped his knee in exaggeration before settling back down and staring me down. "I thought I said I wanted the truth, no lies."

"That is the truth, Alex. You have to believe me..." I stuttered, waving my hands around. I didn't know how to prove it. The only other person he would believe is Dad! There's no way he would believe Michael, as he would claim it's just so he helps us with what we need him for.

"It's a proper sick joke, Nicky, and he can't even defend it and call you out for it... he's dead!" Alex explained. My hands shook with emotions I couldn't pinpoint, I couldn't find the words

"Alex, I was adopted into this family. My birth family is calums, another leader of the gang. We aren't blood related. It's such a long story that I'm not ready to tell you even if it does mean you'll help. Ask mom..."

"What tell her that her daughter wants nothing to do with our family?" He stared at me wide eyed trying to clearly understand what I was trying to say; even I didn't really know

"Think about it, Alex. There were never really any photos of Mom pregnant with me. Do you not find that weird?" I had been subconsciously thinking about it recently. There were countless photos of Mom with Alex, all typical baby shoots: hands on the belly, black and white photos, and ones of them walking through a field. There's no book about predictions about what I am, what they want, or possible baby names. The images and photos of my nursery were so bare and unthought-about until a good chunk of my life when they decorated it. They always said they were too busy to do it... they had nine months. Alex's was themed straight away with no hesitation, they found the time for him and always was ready for it.

"They were busy, Nicky," I could feel my blood boiling as I fought it, remembering why I was here. I couldn't blow this; Michael would kill me.

"Please, Alex," time seemed to slow as I watched his face shift and morph as he travelled through the emotions. There was nothing else to spill and tell him it was all out in the air.

My heart started beating faster, and my hands got clammy as I waited, hoping time would drag on. The only sound was Jane and Austin talking and playing in the next room. Jane tried to keep him from running into us, his small voice whining, "I want to see Nicky and Daddy!" His voice cracked every other word as he got emotional. It felt like forever before Alex parted his lips again, letting out a deep sigh that filled me with dread. I knew what this meant. It had been done before, usually towards Austin when he was getting told off. Something Mom also did that made them more related.

"Alex? If you don't do this, I'll be out of your life, out of Austin's. Do you really want him to lose his aunt?" Just saying those words sent daggers and fire through me at the thought of not seeing the little human I loved. To make matters worse, it seemed like he was pondering it, weighing up the pros and cons of my words. I knew if he said no, I couldn't look at him without feeling betrayed. As much as I hated to leave Austin and kick him out of my life, there was no Austin without Alex.

"I just can't, Nicky," he said.

"You don't believe me," it wasn't a question, but a statement and a true one, and it stung so bad as the words left my mouth, cutting through me. The silence that followed let me know my answer even without words.

"I think that's for the best..." I swallowed harshly as my eyes filled up. As much as I hated the answer and reaction, I knew it was for the best. If he didn't want to help me, then it would help keep this part of my family safe. I couldn't put them in harms way, not now, not ever.

"Okay," my tone was sharp and snappy, revealing my hurt. It was unbelievable after everything that had happened between us that he would just drop me like that. "You can explain it to Austin when he asks why he can't see his aunt or why I don't come to visit or check up on him." My eyes turned harsh and I stood up, grabbing my phone ready to message Michael to come and get me. We were in trouble. No Alex meant no Morgan, and no Morgan meant no police backup. We were going in blind and at risk, and he didn't care. This was it. As of this moment, the gang were my only family, another not blood one (minus Calum), but they wouldn't leave and desert me like Alex was doing right now, only thinking of his new family. He didn't believe I was adopted, but he hadn't tried to fight for me.

"Just so you know, Alex, if you came rushing to me for urgent help that would save and protect you, I would help you in a heartbeat, no questions asked. That shows how different we are."

——