A single bullet // M.C ✔️

48

"You can't— we can't— Michael— you can't do that." I spluttered, walking and taking a huge step back away from him.

"Nicky—,"

"You can't just kiss me like that, Michael. I— I'm not a toy—

"Nicky—,"

"You can't play with my emotions, threaten me one moment, then kiss me the next— that isn't fair, Michael. Not to me."

"Nic-,"

"Like is this a game you do to all the girls? Make them absolutely scared of you, and then boom, they are yours. Because if so, that's a sick game."

"Don't make me kiss you again, Nic," I hadn't even realised that I was borderline ranting until he managed to get a decent-length sentence in between my words.

"Sorry..." I muttered, fidgeting with my hands nervously, just trying to let my brain process what happened.

"No, I am... I shouldn't have just kissed you out of the blue; I didn't even want to do it. Why would I want to kiss you?" I just stared at the male, praying my face didn't show how much that sentence hurt me. The way he said you as if I was a bit of dirt on the bottom of his shoe, as if I was a lower-class slut who just threw herself on him unprompted.

"Ok we're back to doing this then," I scoffed, letting my hands slap down against my thighs. "You know this whole back-and-forth thing, Michael, is driving me crazy and making me dizzy. Just make up your mind if you hate me or not." I took a small step forward to just see what he does. "I mean, it's not like you're the one who kissed me, right? You know the one who made that move."

"I know,"

"Then why are you saying this shit?" I was frustrated with the fact I couldn't see how he was feeling. I'm trained to know how people feel, when they lie; like an open book. Michael's as sealed as anything, all chained up with a padlock and key, with the key thrown to the bottom of the deepest ocean. The only way in is by wearing the lock down, so it just snaps; it's a lot of work.

"Because I'm fucking terrified, Nicky, I can't do it with you," the pain on his face was enough to make me feel guilty and like I was about to cry myself just looking at him. Emotions were swirling around in his eyes that I wasn't used to seeing present on his person.

"Is this because of... Her?" I had found myself hesitating, muttering that single word, the word and person that got brushed under the rug after he flipped out on me and Ashton.

"It is." I hadn't expected a straightforward answer from the reserved man. I straight up was expecting hell as he went in guns blazing, ending with the familiar gun aimed at me. But he didn't... he just told me. I let my body collapse into the small sofa I had as I just stared him down silently, hoping he carries on spewing more words to the stuff I want to know. Who was she? "It isn't what you think it is, Nicky, she wasn't a girlfriend."

"Really?" He took a deep sigh as he nodded, "who was she?"

"Someone I considered family, we all considered family, one more than others. There's a reason heartthrob exists."

"Ashton-,"

"It was his sister, Nicky," now that shocked me. And also showed me I know nothing about any of these men except the basics.

"Ashton has a sister,"

"Had."

"I'm sorry what?" No wonder he's the way he is.

"Her name was Lauren, she was a part of this gang even though Ashton forbade it. She went against him and was quite high up," he let out a humourless laugh, shaking his head and moving his body to sit next to me, resting his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. "We never dated, but she was like a younger sister to us all, and we had all promised to look after her, but she went out by herself," he sighed, closing his eyes tightly, sliding his hands into his blonde locks.

"Oh, Michael..." I was lost for words, unable to form a simple sentence to help ease any pain surging through his body.

"It's fine. It's been years since she was killed, and it was all because of me... I had told her she wasn't ready for this life, even though she had been in it for years... I always doubted her, but Lauren... Lauren was the strongest girl I knew at that age. She wanted to prove me wrong, like the stubborn girl she was. I was the reason she got killed. She went after Unbroken, saying she could take them down. Which she did, drove them out of this country to London..." I found myself inching closer to his body, now side to side, hands reaching out to untangle his hair from his fingers.

"It wasn't your fault." I whispered, hoping his mind and heart believed my words, but the way his body didn't change meant he didn't.

"It was. It was my fault with Kensie too... if I hadn't caused Lauren to drive them out to London, that wouldn't have happened with Kensie..."

"But she wouldn't have met Luke, or you guys," I gently touched his face and made him look at me, shaking my own. "Everything happens for a reason,"

"Lauren's death didn't."

"You might not think it did, Michael, but it did. It made you stronger, brought Kensie to Luke, to all of you. It's made you all stronger, gave Ashton the confidence to form his own gang alongside yours. You're some of the strongest in New York, Mikey. Everyone fears you, tries to learn about you. It helped your story move along and help you more than you think."

"Nicky, don't-,"

"No, you need to hear this. You loved her like a sister, and that was it. You cared for her enough to let her in. You seem to love, sorry, like me the same, so let me in. I'm already here with you in this gang, Mikey. I saw Morgan and Alex and didn't spill any information about you or what happened at the crime scene. I hide stuff. I've been around guns my whole life, with them being police officers. I know what I'm doing, so for the love of god just let me in." I didn't break eye contact with him once during my whole speech, not expecting to spew my feelings to him. I wanted to be wanted by him. "Let me in," I repeated, fighting tears away and slowly blinking at him as he let his hands fall down his knees.

"I can't let you get hurt because of me."

"It'll never be because of you, Michael. You will never cause me pain, not anymore..."

And with that, I gently pulled his face back towards mine, connecting our lips again. Feeling his posture instantly relax into mine, as if it sent all stress out of his body.

It let him know. We were going to be alright.

——