A single bullet // M.C ✔️

78

"So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"I halted mid-bite of my cereal and looked at Michael through my lashes, confusion clear in my features.

"What do you mean?" I finished off the spoon, falling it in the bowl with a small clatter, knowing this was going to be a full conversation due to the look on Michael's face.

"The reason you were up in the night." I opened and shut my mouth like a fish trying to figure out exactly what to say and how he knew.

"What do you mean I weren't?" I lied through my teeth, picking my spoon back up and just mixing the milk in a circle.

"I'm not thick, Nicky," he scoffed, standing up and placing the leftover milk from the carton in Pingus's black and white bowl in the kitchen. "I heard you and felt you."

"I just woke up, Mikey. There was no reason." I sighed softly, closing my eyes. My hand absentmindedly touched my empty stomach under the table,knowing he couldn't see either way as his back was still turned.

"Is it because of Noah?" He turned and faced my sympathy very present on his face.

"Possibly," I shrugged, placing my free hand palm down on the table. "I just struggle to sleep recently." And the fact I now dream and have a nightmare of losing our baby.

"You could have woken me," his voice was soft as he walked over to me, crouching down and placing his hands on my stomach and hips, making me flinch. "shit! What the hell?" He squinted his eyes at me; I've never flinched at him before. "Shit, sorry Ni, I forgot he hurt you." He removed his hands, taking warmth with him.

I found myself smiling at this bizarre situation, shaking my head, and grabbing his wrists, placing them back on my hips.

"It's fine." I waved him off, aching for the concern to leave his face; he's concerned for the wrong reason. I wanted to scream and back down over the truth I'm hiding from him. 'Noah killed our baby!' But I couldn't find the words. I knew he was leaving in an hour for gang work, and I couldn't let him do that with my miscarriage on his mind. And I also knew I wouldn't let him stay and not go; he's needed.

"God, I wish I didn't have to go work; you look so good right now." I scoffed at his feeble attempt to make me smile, and his attempt to stay wasn't working. I glanced at the small mirror behind him, cringing at my appearance.

Deep, dark bags were prominent under my eyes due to the lack of sleep I had after I was woken up by my mind. My hair was like a bird's nest just thrown up in a messy bun so it didn't feel as restricting on my head and neck. My lips were bitten sore and red due to the last three hours of overthinking. Michael's jumper hung off my shoulders, revealing my collarbones and hiding my body from prying eyes, and black shorts were on my legs. There was nothing attractive about me.

"Good joke," I smiled softly, pushing the male on his knees away and resuming eating my cereal, slowly chewing each bit before swallowing.

"I'm being serious, Nicky," he looked at me with all doughy eyes. "You really do. I never really realised,"

"Cheers," I scoffed standing up and smiling down at the man, grabbing my bowl and walking the short distance and placing the porcelain bowl in the metal sink with a small noise. I gasped as I turned and instantly met Michael's chest as he blocked me against the sink with his hands secure on each side.

He slowly inched his head towards me, aiming straight down to my neck. Nudging his nose against the skin there, causing my head to lift up. Warm breath hit my neck as he softly breezed, parting his lips and pressing them gently against my heated skin, causing my legs to buckle under me. A soft chuckle left his lips as he did it again, leaving a soft trail of kisses up my neck and across my jawline, moving so his head was directly in front of mine.

There was a small distance between our lips that I was aching to break, squeezing the counter that my hands had found home on, feeling the cool marble under my fingertips.

"Please," I breathed out breathlessly. I had been craving his touch like this since everything with Noah; just something to drag my mind far, far away from it.

"Admit you look good."

"You little shit." I laughed, letting his hand finally leave the counter and trace the jumper neckline brushing his finger over my collarbone like a feather sending shivers clear down my spine.

"Say it." He had a lopsided smile on his lips, making me smile at his goofy side that had decided to make an appearance.

"You never realised I looked good." I brought up his point from moments before, trying to find any escape so I didn't have to admit it.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. I always knew you looked good, but everything that happened made me notice things I never did. Like this..." his hand left my collarbones and sneaked under the jumper resting on my stomach. "I never really realised you had a bit of a stomach now; you were so skinny when we met." Boom, moment gone.

A sad smile came onto my lips as I sighed, pushing away his body. "What happened?" He looked confused at me, grabbing my hand as I went to walk away. "I was joking, Ni,"

"I know." I just can't tell you it's because I had a baby growing in there... "I'm just tired, Mikey. Like you said I didn't sleep very well."

"So you forgot how to take a joke?"

"My mind didn't take it as a joke, Michael. I've always been this weight," bullshit. "Maybe you just pictured a skinnier girl than me." He furrowed his eyes as if thinking it all over.

"You know your weight means nothing to me." I let him pull me back. "I love you at this weight, any weight, and I'll love you massive when a baby's in there."

"You mentioned it."

"To show I've noticed these kinds of things, Nicky. You were skinny when we met, too skinny. It took a while for you to eat in front of me, and even then it hardly happened. But now you're eating breakfast that you never did. It's okay."

"Like I said, I've always been this weight," everything that happened with Dad and my boss had knocked me into not eating well, but I still ate, just not as frequently, living off coffee and tea.

"You know I love you." He changed the conversation, making me nod.

"And I love you too."

"No matter what happens?"

"No matter what happens," I confirmed, pulling him into a kiss, sighing softly, "and I mean that."

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