A single bullet // M.C ✔️

98

One name was still staring at me amongst the crossed-out ones, Calum. I still have to go speak to Calum... I didn't even know what to utter to him , knowing the wrong thing will mean he'll forbid me to go tomorrow. It's tomorrow. Shit. My head was firmly placed on my hand as I was resting it on my palm, just running a hand over the spine of my book. There were no sentences even forming in my mind on what to say to him,

'I wish we had more time with each other.' It's too cringy and he would take the words and soak them in a goodbye,

"Nic." There was no more time to ponder and stress things over as I looked up from the stare with my notebook seeing Calum. Hastily I slammed the notebook shut hiding it from his sight before pushing back and smiling at him,

"Hey," I nonchalantly spoke standing up and walking over to my fridge opening the heavy metal door and grabbing a fresh can of coke "Want a drink?"

"You okay?" He brushed my question away making me shrug and shut the door with a small bang as it suctioned together once again, keeping the cool air tightly trapped inside it.

"I'm fine." The small shh filled my open kitchen as I cracked the can open letting the bubbles fill my mouth before I swallowed the refreshing liquid letting it calm me down.

"What's this?" Confusion was clear making me look over at him confused myself before I froze looking at the fact he was now looking through the opened notebook.

"Calum." Words got caught deep in my throat as I tried to come up with a reason. His own hands were doing what I was doing moments before he walked in, tracing the spine and words,

"Luke... kensie... mom... your mom even your dad. Ashton?" He read the list tracing each letter imprinted on the lined paper, nail creating a small scraping noise .

"A list Calum... of people I wanted to speak to before I-"

"Die?" He finished my sentence making me choke on my saliva in shock at how easy he just blurted the word out.

"I-" I couldn't speak, make my lips form words, nothing was being sent back his way as I stood there in utter silence, not knowing how to fix what he said.

"You're not going to die, Nicky." He sounded so certain, but I didn't believe him; no one can predict what's going to happen tomorrow, no one knows. I could leave unharmed or leave in a body bag... hopefully the first one. My mind started going haywire as I felt my body freeze, "we won't let you die."

"You won't be there, Calum, it's just me and Michael and- I can't let him get hurt over me, I would rather die than have that happen."

"You're not sacrificing yourself, Nicky." His tone was firm, making sure I heard every word sent my way, making me nod. My mind and brain didn't believe it as my body tensed up and slightly shook before relaxing, and a sigh leaving my lips. The chair was pulled out opposite him as I sat down, pulling my feet onto the bars of the bar chair, resting my elbows on the countertop once again.

"You don't know that, Calum," I said, my tone dropping to a single shake before regaining my strength. "You can't stop me from doing what I set out to do."

"What about your friends, Nicky, your family?"

"I have no proper family, Calum," I scoffed, bouncing my foot on the bar of the chair. "Except you..." I looked behind him, focusing on a few couple photos of me and Michael I had recently put up. They were surrounded by my light wooden frames, with a few photos of me and Kensie around them.

Our first concert together in London, the first house we rented on the first day, completely empty and barren. The first time we went out in New York and experienced this kind of life. It wasn't anything either of us were used to, but London cracked up to a hundred style, and it became home.