Waddup? [Jastin]

XII

Its been a three days since I've found out, but I still can't believe Louis is going to be a dad. I hope it's not true.

And then Zayn called off the engagement with Perrie!

And Harry received death threats...

Ugh, a lot of shit has been happening involving One Direction this week.

The only good thing that happened was that we got some Zouis.

Lol why am I talking about 1D 😂 I don't even like them

This chapter is pretty short, but the next one will be long. I promise.
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[8:30 A.M.]

JMSwag: yo, dumbass. I have something to tell you

Justin969: well good morning to you too Jason

JMSwag: oh yeah, good morning

Justin969: so what'd u want to tell me???

JMSwag: that you're pretty

Justin969: wut

JMSwag: pretty ugly

Justin969: meanieee >:(

JMSwag: I'm kidding, you're good looking

Justin969: yay!!!

Justin969: iz dat tha only thang u need ta tell me son???

JMSwag: wtf? Why are u talking like that?

Justin969: what doth thou cullionly???

JMSwag: talk normally

Justin969: respóndeme

JMSwag: it's not funny stop this instant

Justin969: okay mommy

JMSwag: I'm not your mommy

Justin969: okay daddy

JMSwag: omfg that's so wrong in so many levels

Justin969: i didn't even think of that, you nastyyy

JMSwag: anyways, can you help me?

Justin969: okay, with what???

JMSwag: I got the Crest whitening strips and I don't really know how 2 use them

Justin969: it's easy, and weren't there instructions???

JMSwag: probably

JMSwag: I just got the whitening strips out and threw away everything else :/

Justin969: wow

Justin969: the long strip is for top teeth and the short strip is for bottom teeth. push them between your teeth too. have them on for like thirty minutes

JMSwag: okay, I did it

Justin969: eh, u put the long strip on your top teeth, right???

JMSwag: GODDAMNIT I PUT IT ON THE BOTTOM TEETH

Justin969: hahaha, you fool!!! how did u not realize which one was longer???

JMSwag: IDK

JMSwag: FML

JMSwag: I'M STARTING OVER

JMSwag: I FINISHED

Justin969: stop typing in caps

JMSwag: OKAY

Justin969: tbh, u don't need the whitening strips. Your teeth are not even yellow

JMSwag: I like to take care of my teeth

Justin969: ugh, Americans with their teeth

Justin969: speaking of teeth, I'm going to the dentist today

JMSwag: luckyyy

Justin969: dafuq??? how am I luckyyy???

JMSwag: u just are

JMSwag: ugh, I'm drooling

Justin969: because of my hotnesss

JMSwag: no, these things are making me drool

Justin969: lol

JMSwag: so umh, how are things with Selena?

Justin969: they're okay. why???

JMSwag: just asking

Justin969: do u like her or something???

JMSwag: WHAT NOO I SWEAR I DONT LIKE HER I SWEAR TO GOD

Justin969: I'm joking, I know u wouldn't break the bro code

JMSwag: sometimes I really dislike u

Justin969: i can tell

JMSwag: so when will u go to the dentist

Justin969: I'm actually on my way. My mom is driving me there rn

JMSwag: oh, so wanna rhyme?

Justin969: eh, sure

Justin969: random or a story???

JMSwag: ransom

JMSwag: *random

Justin969: okay, u start

JMSwag: that means you're going to be the one rhyming

Justin969: okay

JMSwag: I obsses over my TEETH

Justin969: I think I see something BENEATH

JMSwag: beneath what MORON

Justin969: look what I have DRAWN [pic attached]

JMSwag: why did u draw a DICK

Justin969: oh look at that CHICK

JMSwag: I have to take a WEE

Justin969: I want a CHIMPANZEE

JMSwag: why a MONKEY

Justin969: I also want a DONKEY

JMSwag: I like pizza THO

Justin969: I have to GO

JMSwag: ugh, fineee. that game ended quickly

Justin969: I'm sorryyy, I have to go :(

JMSwag: bye then

Justin969: don't worry, it's never goodbye

JMSwag: wtf?

Justin969: yup :)

JMSwag: talk to u later

Justin969: okay

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See what I did there?

I just went to the dentist and decided to write this