Fluffy Phan Oneshots

Phanbama

(A/N- Listen, this is all a joke please don't take anything seriously. My friend Stephanie made the picture of Obama meeting Phan at vidcon and then we joked about a story and now it's 1:20 in the morning and I've produced this because I didn't know how to write the actual fluffy one shot I was thinking, but it will come out soon enough. Okay bye and please laugh at this)  

Obama POV

I was working on a new government project that's very hush-hush you know the drill can't tell anybody and all that shit. I had to fly to London on business. As a loyal American, all I wanted to do was to throw every cup of tea they gave me into the nearest harbor while running around in an American flag tied around my body like a toga, but I knew I had to keep my chill otherwise it would end up on CNN or some big news outlet like that. I can't do a single damn thing without the news hoping on it. Anyways, yeah. I was in London on business when I got a call from whoever runs that country- can't remember if it's the Queen or that David Cameron guy or even that new little child, who knows- telling me that I had to go to a top secret place. I was also told to bring crumpets, but that's besides the point.

I go to this "top secret" place and what do I find? An apartment complex. Or flats as they say. Top secret my ass. Any how, I walk in like I own the place because bitch, I'm the president of the United States of America. My country kicked this country's ass hundreds of years ago. So there I was, just trying to get to this secret location when I get noticed. My entire cover is blown. I hear some guy whisper to his boyfriend or some shit who knows, I'm not making assumptions, but they were practically sitting on top of each other like come on, but anyways, so I hear this dude whisper: "Phil, is that Obama?" No shit it's me Obama, who else. Are there people that impersonate me in England? Who the fuck does that shit?

Whatever, so I look over and try to be friendly even though my cover is completely blown and the next thing you know these two tall ass guys are walking towards me. I did not sign up for this. Nope nope nopity nope dot biz dot uk. They try to act like they're casual, but I know they're not and I think they know that I know what's up. I try to get away from them because ain't nobody got time to take a single damn selfie with these boys. I walk to the stairs and just start running. I run all the way until I get to the apartment number that I was told to go to, but first I stop and catch my breath and curse whoever the hell invented stairs and then I sit down for a bit because dear God I need to get to a gym soon those stairs kicked my ASs.

I finally got up when I was good and ready and decided to go check out whatever this project was. I knock on the door and hope whoever's inside hurries up because I don't want to get noticed again. I hear the door open up and who do I see? None other than the two guys who noticed me earlier, just my luck. I went to the wrong place. Or at least I thought before they were pulling me in their place and telling me all about this project. Ngl, they're kinda a cute couple, I ship it tbh, but that's besides the point. I figure out that the slightly taller one who likes to wear black is named Dan and the other one with really blue eyes and mix matched socks is named Phil. They start to tell me all about this new project and how they've been talking to the queen and about their book coming out, which you can pre-order on danandphilbook.com, and blah blah blah, but I really had to pee so I asked where their bathroom was and they told me but when I found out that I had to go through even more stairs I realized that I was going to cry, so I went quicker so that these two dudes wouldn't see me cry.

I got to the bathroom in just enough time, and I didn't even cry, which was good. One thing they forgot to mention was that they had these giant ass posters of that one boyband on their door so when I turned around I screamed. I tried to compose myself quickly and get back to our very srs business meeting but when I came back these two dudes were making out and I was like "are you kidding me right now I left for like three minutes please find your chill because it sure as hell isn't down the other person's throat" but I didn't say any of that, just thought it as I went to go find some water because I was thirsty.

Long story short, I went to London to have some sort of serious business meeting that lasted all of ten minutes before those two Dan and Phil guys forgot I existed and started making out so I wrote a lil note and let myself out, but dw, I left out some condoms because it's important to wear protection.