Fluffy Phan Oneshots

Dan and Phil vs Fanta

Phil

"Dan, are you sure it's a mouse?"

"Yes Phil, you spork, it sounds like a mouse; what else would it be?"

"I don't know, maybe a tiny baby velociraptor hatched and is trying to find their mum, so they're letting out soft squeaks to find her."

"Phil. Velociraptor's aren't real and we sure as hell don't have one in our apartment right now. I swear it's a mouse."

"But what if it's a rat like you?"

His eyes widened after he finally realized what was being said before he feigned hurt, placing his hand over his chest and staggering backwards. "Philip Michael Lester, did you just call me a fucking rat?"

"Well, they do live in the trash."

"What th-Phil"

A giggle slipped past my lips watching him try to think of something clever to say, but all he did was open and close his mouth a few times, debating on what to say. I was about to get full on sass-master-from-Manchester, but I was interrupted by the sound of another squeak.

Damn you mouse, I was about to get even sassier; I love watching Dan's expressions when I try to be sassy like him. His smile gets so wide and lovely, plus I get to see his adorable dimples. Let's not forget about the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs at my sass attempts. He looks like a beautiful angel when he smiles like that. Scratch that, he looks like a beautiful angel all the time, but he looks exceptionally precious when he smiles.

Another squeak interrupted my thoughts. That's it. I'm going to find this mouse and then let it out into the wild so I can think about Dan without all of these rude interruptions.

"How about we split up? It would probably be quicker than staying together," I suggested, even though the last thing I wanted was to be separated from Dan when there was a ball of fuzzy germs running around the apartment. I might be older, but Dan takes care of the crawling things, especially since that squirrel decided to attack me.

An hour later, and we finally found the stupid thing. "Phil, can you come in the kitchen please? I heard Dan yell.

Dear God, the thing's where I eat. If it ate my (okay Dan's) shreddies I stg... I grabbed the nearest thing to my right, which only happened to be a tripod, and headed for the kitchen. I snuck into the kitchen, holding the tripod and ready to swing. Stepping into the doorway, I held the tripod high, expecting to see Dan holding a mouse, but instead all he was holding was a bottle of Fanta Zero.

"Umm, Dan? You called me in here to watch you drink Fanta? Are you okay?"

I watched as he rolled his eyes- I guess he didn't want me to watch him drink soda. "No, just wait, listen."

"Dan, what are you talking abo-"

"Shhh!"

I rolled my eyes, staring at Dan and waiting for whatever the heck I was waiting for. Just as I was about to lose all of my patience, I heard the squeak again. I jumped back, grabbing for the tripod, and expecting to see the little creature, but instead, I was greeted by the beautiful sound of Dan laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Phil, did you hear where the sound came from?"

"Yeah, from right around you, but I don't see the mouse. Where is it?"

"Phil, listen." He held out the bottle so it was closer to me. Okay, that's it. I've lost him. He's a goner.

"Dan, what the hell are you doi-" all of a sudden, the squeak sounded again. I yelped and jumped back, but still didn't see the mouse. "Where's the mouse?"

"Phil, don't you understand? It's not a mouse- it's the Fanta."

"Are you kiDDING ME? WE'VE BEEN SEARCHING THE ENTIRE HOUSE FOR AN HOUR FOR A BOTTLE OF SEMI-OPENED SODA? WHAT THE HELL." Another giggle passed his lips, slowly engulfing his entire face. His dimples deepened, his cheeks turned a light rosy pink, and his eyes crinkled at the sides. "We're total idiots sometimes," I muttered while shaking my head slightly.

"Yeah, but we can be idiots together, goofball."

I hate him. Can you believe the cheesy bullshit that just escaped his lips? This cheesy meme is precious. I felt myself getting engulfed in a loving hug and I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed his face and slowly brought our lips together.