Fluffy Phan Oneshots

~spooky~

Dan

It was a lazy autumnal day in England. The rain fell softly from the sky- a stark contrast from the brightly colored leaves falling from the trees. Phil and I had gone to the pumpkin patch the day before and picked out the perfect pumpkins for carving, but were too lazy to actually carve them when we got them, so we saved it for a rainy day (literally). 

Starting out by playing the Spooky Scary Skeletons remix (the ten hour looped version, obviously), I placed old newspapers down on the table before setting down the pumpkins and various knives/carving accessories.

"Phiiiiillll, come on it's ready! Time to carve some pumpkins!"

A sleepy Phil walked into the lounge with a mug of steaming coffee in his hands. He was still in his pjs and hadn't put his contacts in yet, plus he hadn't shaven in a few days, meaning he looked extra cute and cuddly, even when he was scowling. "Dan. It's 9:37 in the morning. Why did you drag me out of bed so early."

"Tomorrow is the most important day of the year and we still haven't carved out pumpkins yet."

"That's weird, my birthday isn't until January."

"Phiiillll you jackass." I tried to act annoyed with him and his lame joke, but I knew that my eye roll and groan wasn't convincing. Phil gave a small smile as he took a sip of his coffee, walking over to the table to get started.

I eagerly picked up a knife and started cutting up the pumpkin, first cutting out the stem with a simple circle. Once the "lid" was off, it was time to scoop out the innards.

"This is disgusting," Phil moaned. 

"I don't know, I kind of like it," I said as I reached in and grabbed another slimy handful of orange goop and held it out to Phil. He pretended to gag.

"I don't understand why it has to be so slimy where do all of these innards even come from?"

"No idea, but people can eat this stuff I think."

"I no longer have faith in humanity."

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"Oh yeah, then you try it."

After a second of hesitation, I decided that I wasn't about to let Phil win this, so I took the slimy gunk in my hand and shoved it into my mouth, immediately regretting it and spitting it out. 

"Fuck that's the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth."

"Told you so."

"I hate you," I muttered as I stood up and went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of Ribena to get the horrid taste out of my mouth.

"I love you too," Phil sang out, obviously excited over the fact that he was right about pumpkin innards being gross.

Once I got back from cleansing myself from the pumpkin innards, the carving began. We sat at the table together, listening to spooky jams and the soft pitter patter of the rain while we carved. Once finished we had the big reveal, showing each other our designs. Phil was unimpressed by my beautiful lenny face, and his was a friendly jack-o-lantern grin. I think our pumpkins describe us well. After we finished cleaning up the disastrous mess, we sat in the lounge watching horror movies all day. It was perfect.