Fluffy Phan Oneshots

A Cold and Sticky Nightmare

Dan

It was a typical, normal Sunday. Or at least it was supposed to be. I got this free pore cleanser thing in the post the other day but I hadn't used it yet, and if we're being honest, I was curious as to what it would do. The curiosity was overpowering, forcing me out of my blanket cocoon to look for the little package that I'm pretty sure I threw on the floor somewhere.

I found it a few minutes later in the lounge area on the couch and after a few minutes of weighing the pros and cons of putting something on my face I decided why not and just did it. I glanced at the instructions for about half a second before I decided to just rip it open and start putting it on my nose- besides how hard is it to apply some moisturizer to your face?

I was greeted with a surprisingly cold and sticky mess. Once I felt like it was all applied, I waited for it to absorb into my skin or something, but it just stayed on my nose. At least it was black though, I can't compromise my aesthetic, not even for some weird beauty product. I was trying to wash it off of my hands when I heard a soft giggle behind me.

"Dan, what the hell is on your nose?"

"I honestly have no idea, but it's cold and sticky and gross and I don't know how to get it off." Another giggles escaped past his lips, although this time he was at least trying to stifle it. "Phiilll, stop laughing and help me."

"I can't, you look like a goose."

Feigning offense, I stumbled back, grabbing my chest for extra dramatic effect. "So you're telling me that I have this goop all over my face, and you're just going to sit there and laugh at me?"

"You weren't complaining this morning," he sauntered, placing a quick peck on my cheek before ducking out of the room, leaving me a flushed idiot.

"What th- PHIL that's not what I meant, this is different, you son of a bitch get back here and help me."

His bubbly laugh filled the air as I watched him re-enter the lounge, obviously only just outside the door. "I'm just kidding, but seriously, I think you just wait until it hardens and then you peel it off or something."

"Wait, I have to peel this thing off my face? What the fuck this is traumatising I'm never using free beauty samples ever again."

"Okay, sure Dan. Come on, let's watch something until your face dries."

It took my face about fifteen minutes to dry and then I was left with the extremely weird task of peeling the thing off. Taking it off was a weirdly satisfying, but at least it was finally off. I went to the kitchen to throw it away, gladly opening the bin lid and dropping it in. At least it made my face smell really nice. Walking into the lounge again, I got back on the couch, hugging Phil closer.

"Phil," I whispered up at him, greeted with a slight hum, his eyes still focused on the television set in front of us. "Smell my face, the thingie made it smell really nice."

"You want me to what?"

"Smell my face, it smells good."

"Dan, I know you can be into some really kinky stuff sometimes, but why would I smell your face?"

"I'm not that kinky Phil, come on."

He leaned down to where I was before quickly sniffing my face. "Okay, fine, it smells good, now stop being a total dork and let's finish this show."

"Deal." Snuggling closer to him, I found myself drifting off to the sound of his heart beating and the rise and fall of his chest. A slight smile found its way to my face before I was whisked off to sleep in the comfort of his arms.