Little Things in Life

I remember

I remember how the tears used to fall

down my cheek and land in my opened mouth. 

I remember how my lungs would clench

up so much I couldn't breathe. 

I remember the salty and bitter aftertaste of 

those tears that never managed to reach the ground, 

those tears that found it's  way back into 

my body where the pain always stayed with me. 

When everyone and everything left me, 

that was the only thing that stayed.

I remember feeling the heat melt away from my body, 

and the nonexistant cold seep into my heart. 

I remember it so well on the days when I get scared. 

I remember it so well, so so well, because I forgot what it 

felt like until it hit me like a stromy wind knocking me

off my feet and off the stool that I had made for myself. 

And my heart starts to beat faster, 

and I can't function because it's been so long, 

and my body forgot how to function underneath 

all those tears. 

I don't know how to react to these old emotions, 

ones that I shouldn't have forgotton, but somehow managed

to let slip away from right underneath my 

fingertips. 

I remember and I want to forget, 

I remember and I try to do the right things, 

I remember and I fail to the tears, 

I remember just to lose once more to time.