Random Thoughts of a Teenage Girl

Im so mean.

Skye hates squids, and when I saw her name I was like "SkyeTheSQUIDbaki"
I
So
Mean
"SkyeTheSquidBaka"
I'm just butchering her name here
What's wrong with me
I'm supposed to ask if o can spend the night with her next Saturday because I haven't seen her all summer and we will be making a manga: called Doodle Nockeys
We may just make a story of it on our collab account, Mashton1990.
... I have to change that name
Pretty sure all the people that follow it think it's Mashton because of Michael Clifford and Ashton Irwin
Even though I'm a HUGE 5Sauce fan, that's not what Mashton means.
It's Mashton because.. Well.. I'll keep that a secret ;3

And nobody will blurt out the reason *looks at Gary* I'm talking about youuuu because you know all the secrets.

I just told him one yesterday that I've never told anybody before and yeah that was fine
That was all fine
... Still exceptional :3

And it's not my fault, it's caused because of Anxiety.

DID YOU KNOW THAT DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY HAVE THEIR OWN VOICES
At least to me they do
And I'm slightly psychotic because of it.
"Make them stop,"
"The voices, make them stop."
"They're gone.."
"Where did they go?"
"I want them back."
"Are they okay?"

And then Gary's like "Yes they're okay baby."

LIKE HOLY FUCK
THE VOICES?! IM FUCKING INSANE!!
But you can't blame me..
I mean.. I'm always home alone
I was bullied horribly
Other shit has happened
So much other shit has happened
So really the voices of them are my only family, they never leave.
I mean they leave, but they're always here. Like the ghost of them is there when they're not yelling at me in my mind.
I am insane ...
Like those of you with depression and anxiety must understand, right?
And I want the pain to stop but that means the voices would leave
And I don't want the voices to leave
Just the words they say.
Like.. If a bully that was once a pervious friend left, you'd want them back to hear their voice. Just not the mean horrid words they say. You want the friendship back.
See? Depression and Anxiety used to not be so bad.
I want it like that again.
Mhm
I hope you understand
Now that I've explained, do I still seem insane? Most likely.

This whole chappie is all over the place :3
Idekam

I could trail off into something completely different...

Pieces by Red::::
Lyrics:;:;:;:

I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole

I was playing this song and then played an SAO fan video and it was so coincidental it was funny

When the song said "I come to you in pieces," the one guy *spoiler alert for any of you who want to watch SAO, are watching SAO, etc* chopped off Kirito's arm

And then when it said "I come to you in pieces," again
*Spoiler Alert
Asuna was killed and her pixels were flying up there...

Hold on I'll just put the video names here..

Sword Art Online - 1 Year 2 Months 20 Days - Primeiro AMV

Nightcore - Pieces
NightcoreReality

Make sure you have the volume down completely on the SAO video if you try this
Start playing the song (Pieces) first, then move quickly to start playing the video after playing the song..
And then when the piano keys hit it'll change the little picture video thingy and it's okay if there's a little delay
It's still really cool

I don't even know how I stumbled across doing this
But I did anyway

Try it if you can though
It's a lot easier on a computer
Mhm

..
What am I talking about
This was only supposed to be about making fun of Skye and butchering her name because I'm mean.

Bai now

Oh that reminds me

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I do that? Let me just get out my cellular and call my dealer.. Oh wait! I don't have a dealer! Cause I'm a pot hoe, so.. Bai now!!"
.. It's an inside joke..