(A request from AlicornNorth )
It was finally the weekend. Two glorious days off from school, and the Bad Guys' mansion was unusually quiet.
Upstairs, Princess sat at her white vanity desk, a glitter gel pen in hand and her diary open to a fresh pink page. She wore a black sleeveless tee with a rainbow ballerina silhouette, light blue knee-length jeans, and cherry-red sneakers. Her hot pink hair was tied neatly into a braid as she hummed along to Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses soundtrack playing softly in the background.
Her latest entry was heartfelt and dramatic, as usual:
Dear Diary, Eddie was so sweet today. He opened the door for me like a true gentleman. My ginger-haired knight. Ugh, how is he so dorky and dreamy at the same time?!? His freckles are like cinnamon constellations on a cupcake... I swear I could write a poem about his laugh alone...
Satisfied, she clicked her pen shut and tucked the diary under her bed with practiced secrecy.
Just then, Mr. Snake called from downstairs, "Hey, Kiddo! Your friends are here!"
"I'm coming!" Princess called, throwing on her denim jacket and skipping off with a spring in her step.
A few minutes later, the true chaos began.
Lou (a giant blue shark in socks) came stomping through the upstairs hallway, muttering about his old WWE wrestling mask. Pepé (the overly curious piranha) was right behind him, opening drawers and nosing through random stuff.
"You sure you didn't leave it in your gym bag?" Shark asked.
"I checked! Maybe it rolled under something."
Shark groaned. "Then check under the bed or something."
Pepé bent down to look—and gasped. "Ooooh... jackpot."
He yanked out a glittery pink book with the words KEEP OUT OR FACE MY WRATH!!! scrawled across the cover in sparkly stickers.
Both of them stared at it.
"...It would be wrong to read it," Lou said.
"Super wrong," Pepé nodded.
A beat passed.
They opened it.
"¡Ay, caramba!" Pepé said after reading just one paragraph. "She calls Eddie her 'ginger-haired knight!'"
Shark nearly choked laughing. "She wrote a poem about his ears?! No way—let me see that."
From that moment on, it became their dirty little secret. Every time Princess left the room—even if just to pee—they scrambled under the bed to sneak more entries. They devoured every daydream, every doodle, and every doodled heart with Eddie's name in it.
"She actually drew their wedding cake," Pepé whispered in awe one afternoon.
"With their future cats sitting on top!" Shark added. "Dude, this is a gold mine!"
But of course... no secret stays hidden for long.
One night, Princess padded into the kitchen for a juice box and found both of them passed out at the table, snoring with her diary between them, surrounded by snack wrappers and open highlighters.
"Oh. Oh-hoh-hoh." Her grin turned feral. "You two are so busted."
The next morning...
"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
The mansion shook with shrieks of horror.
Pepé and Lou came skidding into the kitchen like gremlins on roller skates. Their faces were caked in sparkly blush, pink lipstick, purple eyeshadow, mascara that looked like spider legs, and enough glitter to rival a fairy festival.
"LOOK AT US!!" Shark wailed.
"¡Dios MÍO! We look like drag queens after a glitter bomb!" Pepé screamed.
"I LOOK LIKE MY AUNT OLIVIA DURING CHRISTMAS SALES!" Shark cried.
Webs wheeled in from the hallway, blinking. "What in the holographic heck...?"
Mr. Snake peeked up from his coffee. One glance and he lost it, cackling into his mug.
Diane stepped in next, looked them over from head to toe, and muttered, "You two look like rejected Bratz dolls."
Wolf appeared in the doorway, took a single look—and actually collapsed to the floor laughing.
That's when Princess strolled in like royalty, hands on her hips and a devilish smirk on her face.
"Good morning, sparklebutts."
"Y-You did this?!" Shark sputtered.
"You bet your bedazzled butts I did," she grinned. "That's what you get for reading my diary."
"But it was so juicy!" Pepé said, eyes wide. "You named Eddie's freckles!"
"And you rhymed 'freckles' with 'neckless' in a poem!" Shark added. "That's talent!"
Princess raised an eyebrow. "You're lucky I didn't duct tape glitter to your scales."
Pepé winced. "Not the glitter duct tape..."
"Okay, okay!" Shark said. "We're sorry! Never again! We swear on Pepé's mom's enchiladas!"
"I forgive you," Princess said. "But only because I'm generous. And because—"
Snap! went the flash on her phone.
"Already sent this pic to the group chat," she said sweetly. "Enjoy your new nickname: The Sparkle Bros."
"¡NOOOOOOOO!" Pepé screamed.
"I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AT SCHOOL AGAIN!" Shark howled.
As Princess walked off like the smug queen she was, the others watched her in silent admiration.
Wolf shook his head, grinning. "She really is our kid, huh?"
Snake sipped his coffee again. "Ruthless. Tactical. Glitter-powered vengeance. Yep, she's one of us."
Webs nodded. "Note to self: never, ever read her diary."
Diane smirked. "Or even think about it."
⸻
Later that night...
Princess sat at her desk again, diary open to a fresh page. This time, a smirk curled her lips as she wrote:
Dear Diary,
They thought they could sneak into my private thoughts? Cute. They were glittered, humiliated, and meme'd. Justice has been served in sparkly vengeance.
But just to be safe, I'm moving you to a new hiding place. Somewhere no one—not even Webs—can find you.
Also... Eddie liked the poem. He said my handwriting looks like frosting.
Sigh... My ginger-haired knight strikes again.
XOXO,
P.
Downstairs, Eddie was sitting on the couch with his sketchbook when he got the message: a blurry selfie of Pepé and Shark covered in makeup with the caption:
"THE SPARKLE BROS - DO NOT TRUST WITH SECRETS."
He blinked, then chuckled. "Princess strikes again."
YOU ARE READING
THE BAD GUYS IN: raising princess
FanfictionAfter they save the city and stopped the world's biggest heist. The bad guys continue on their next adventure. Raising princess. Which isn't going to easy as it looks when sHe gets older and lots of obstacles coming their way. But there's nothing th...
