Always start over

Flashback

I walk to the stage as I see Finn on the piano setting all the sheets.
"This is where you per posed to me. When you did you reminded me it was where we did our first date.its also where we first met. Do you remember that?" I asked as Finn  looked away.
"Yea, glee rehearsal you uh you really freaked me out"said Finn as he chuckled.
I came a bit closer.
"This place is kind of our Jerusalem.all roads lead us back here." I said as I looked off the stage."I went to your house, and to the tire shop, I should've known you would've just been here though ." I looked at Finn and then looked down.
"I know this might sound kinda weird but I just felt like singing up here, helps me figure out stuff before so"Finn said as he looked back.
"Yea I would've come here first, if you would've picked up your phone and answered my next messages. Instead I had to get on a plain and drive around town looking for you, like an idiot." I said as I looked at Finn
"I just needed time to think"Finn said as he looked down.
"You had four months Finn, I hated for what you did to be at that train station"I said as Finn looked back at me and the looked back down.
"I was trying to help"Finn said as he looked really nervous .
"I HATED YOU! But then when I got to New York I thought how much you loved me, and how hard that must've been for you. And I thought this , this is what a man looks like, this is how a man loves. BUT you not telling me were you were for four months and sneaking out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. That is not being a man Finn" I said as I started cry even harder.
"I was trying to give you your freedom!"Finn yelled .
"I DONT NEED YOU TO GIVE ME MY FREEDOM!!! IM A GROWN WOMEN, I DONT NEED YOU TO HIDE FROM ME, TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME"I yelled as finn looked at me.
"Well like that Brody guy"Finn said as I rolled my eyes.
"I didn't do.. Brody okay,and don't you think that I would've rather been with you."I said as Finn looked down.
"Well didn't you say he was on Broadway and he has like 3 percent body fat. Who am I?!? I barely even graduated high school and my life has absolutely no direction"Finn said as I came a bit closer.
"Don't you get it,no matter how Rich or famous or successful I become, when it comes to you I'm, I'm always going to be that moon eyed girl who freaked you out at our first glee rehearsal. You were the first boy who made me feel, loved, and sexy and visible. You are my first love and I want more than anything for you to be my last ,
But I can't do this anymore, at least not now. We're done."I cried as I looked at Finn and saw how speechless he was.
"Wow, what am I going to do with my life, I don't have a girl I don't have a job, I don't have a place in the world"Finn said nervously.
"You have you, and that's better than anyone else in the planet as far as I'm concerned" I said as I came closer to him and kissed him.
---------------------
I got up from my bed and walked to the my jewelry box. I took my engagement ring Finn gave to me when he asked me to marry him....... And I kissed it. I put the picture of me and Finn next to it and started to cry.
Shelby walks in and comes close to me.
"Mom.... Do you think Finn killed himself because of me?" I asked as Shelby hugged me tight.
"Sweetie it's not your fault"Shelby said as I started to cry even harder.
"Then why else would he kill his self Shelby!!"I yelled as Shelby grabbed my hand and tightened it.
"You really think Finn killed himself because of what you told him...No Rachel.... Cops said that he overdosed himself...you remember when he said that he stopped with the drugs... Well it's hard to stop.. And when they found him in the hotel... I knew that somewhere in his heart he was regretting all of this... And he was just thinking about what you would do.... Rachel he wants you to stay happy.. He doesn't want to see you cry.."said Shelby as I looked down
"I'll never know if it's my fault" I said as Shelby picked my chin up and kissed my forehead.
Shelby left my room as I stared at the picture.
I began to sing 'bells'
"Everyday I get a little bit closer
To the resolution that I am not yet bulletproof
Oh, the battle within rages on and on
The neighborhood seems so small
The church on the corner
Has steps good for waiting
I should go in
But I'm tired of praying
And anyway

I can't stop the bells
Ringing since you've been gone
I thought I was moving on
But I think of nothing else
I can't break the spell
I still hear you every place
Can't forget what I saw in your face
I know every inch so well

I can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells
I can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells

And it doesn't even matter what's going on
The sound in my head is constant
And I can't turn it off
Oh, and patience is hard
When you just don't know
Where all the waiting is taking you
The church on the corner
Torn down in December
That kiss in the doorway
I still won't surrender
And anyway

I can't stop the bells
Ringing since you've been gone
I thought I was moving on
But I think of nothing else
I can't break the spell
I still hear you every place
You don't know what you left in your wake
I guess I'm not so well

If you could feel what I feel for the moment
Just see what I see
And you know that I won't find peace
Until you'll come back to me

Oh, I thought I was moving on
But I think of nothing else
I can't stop the bells
I still hear you every place
Can't forget what I saw in your face
I know every inch so well

I can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells
I can't stop the bells
Can't stop the bells" I sang as I got up and decided to go to school with will and Shelby.
When we got there we walked into the glee club.
"Hi, Rachel, Shelby,umm mr. Shue is it okay if we sing something ...just to cheer everyone up.. I guess" said Marlee
"[Verse 1:]
I'm breakin' down
Gonna start from scratch
Shake it off like an etch-a-sketch
My lips are saying goodbye
My eyes are finally dry "Marlee sang as she walked to me and I smiled.

"I'm not the way that I used to be
I took the record off repeat
It killed me but I survived
And now I'm coming alive "kitty sang as she brought a chair in the middle for me to sit on.

[Chorus 2x:]
"I'll never be that girl again
No oh oh "the whole room sang as they took it to the auditorium.

"My innocence is wearin' thin
But my heart is growing strong
So call me, call me, call me"Marlee and kitty sang.

[2x:]
Miss movin' on
Oh oh oh

Yeah.

[Verse 2:]
"I broke the glass that surrounded me (surrounded me)
I ain't the way you remember me (remember me)
I was such a good girl
So fragile but no more"Tina sang as I smiled.

"I jumped the fence to the other side (the other side)
My whole world was electrified (electrified)
Now I'm no longer afraid
It's Independence Day (It's Independence Day)"Quinn sings as she appears out of no where and I smile.

[Chorus 2x:]
I'll never be that girl again
No oh oh

My innocence is wearin' thin
But my heart is growing strong
So call me, call me, call me

Miss movin' on

[Verse 3:]
Everything is changing and I never wanna go back to the way it was (to the way it was)
I'm finding who I am and who I am from here on out is gonna be enough (is gonna be enough)
Is gonna be enough

[Chorus 2x:]
I'll never be that girl again
No oh oh "everyone sang as they looked at me and pulled me up the stage.

"My innocence is wearin' thin
But my heart is growing strong
So call me, call me, call me
Miss movin' on
Oh oh oh
Miss movin' on

(On and on and on and on and on)

[4x:]
Miss movin' on
Oh oh oh

Yeah, I'm movin' on" I sang as everyone else harmonized.
Everyone group hugs me as I smile and a tear falls down slowly."Thank you guys so much"I said as they all smiled and let go of the hug.
-----------TO BE CONTINUED------VOTE------COMMENT PLEASE----💕💕💕💟💟THANK YOU