Erroneous (Andy Biersack)

Chapter 23

~Andy Biersack~

I knew when Jade walked out of my front door with only her cigarettes, phone, and my leather jacket wrapped around her body, that I had to let go of one of them. I pulled my phone out and clicked on the Twitter app after sending Juliet a text message and ignoring all her replies.
I'm sorry.
I started to type on Twitter.

I know a lot of you have seen a picture of Jade Simms and I walking in front of my house. I've been accused of cheating today more times than I can count. I'm not going to lie to you guys, because I love you all. I know I may lose some of my fans because of the decisions I've made in the last year. Regardless, it's time for me to be honest and face the truth. So, here goes nothing.
About a year ago, I met my girlfriend's little sister, Jade. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw Jade. I couldn't stand the fact that I had any attraction to her because I was already with her sister. But, let me be cliché and say that the heart wants what it wants, even if the brain doesn't like it. Anyways, I lied to myself for about a month that I didn't like Jade. But, I did. So, when she came at the request of Ashley to be our merch girl, I knew I'd have to face reality. It all began when Ashley and Jade got into a huge argument in a hotel lobby. Jade was left a mess and Ashley stormed off, pissed. I took Jade back to my room and let her vent. Well, something came over me and I kissed her. I thought she was sleeping but, of course she wasn't. That was the start. From then on, we hid our relationship from the world, only letting the secret out to a few select people. We had lots of close calls with Juliet. Jade hated the lying and secrets and we broke up twice before Juliet found out the first time. Only hours after she had found out, Juliet hit her head and forgot the previous 48 hours, including the truth about me and her sister. Me, being the coward I am with the situation, left it that way and Jade and I continued behind her back. And now, after Jade has left me for the third time, for all the secrets and lies, reality has hit me. Jade was right. This isn't fucking Sister Wives and I have to let someone go. After thinking about everything that has happened in the last year, losing my baby, cheating on Juliet, getting in repetitive fights with my band and family, hiding the girl I love from the world, I have decided.
It took a lot of thinking. I thought of the three years I spent with Juliet, and then, falling for her sister in the year that would make four years. Juliet truly made me happy and she was one of the first girls I ever truly loved and always will. Hell, she was probably the first. Juliet and I thought our relationship was bulletproof, but obviously not if one single girl can break it into a thousand pieces.
Then, I think of Jade and how Jake would tell me my eyes would shine at just the mention of her or how a small smile would creep onto my face when she walked into a room. I thought of the sadness and unwillingness to do anything when we weren't together, and wondered how I lived before, when I didn't know her. But what if I hadn't ever met her and I never knew her? Juliet and I would be happy and probably have a little Andy running around, but now, at the point Jade and I are at, I can't even think of not meeting her. She makes me so fucking happy and I love her. It's like...I hadn't ever felt it before. The wave of electricity that shoots through my entire body when she so much as holds my hand. The butterflies that fly around like they're on some steroids when she smiled. She means the absolute world to me and I don't ever want to see her hurt. I just love her.
So, @.JulietSimmsALL, I'm so sorry for how much this is going to hurt you and for breaking promises, for lying, for keeping secrets. But, I can't do this. I love Jade, and I'm sorry. And to @.JadeSimms I love you and I'm sorry.
And to all of my fans, I'm sorry for lying and everything. Regardless, of what happened with everything, remember, if you consider yourself a part of the BVB Army, don't say any damn thing negative to Jade. You'd be no fan of mine.
Again, I'm so sorry to anyone who was hurt by my poor decisions.

-Two Days Later-

I was beginning to think Jade was never coming back. Juliet and I had talked and she was angry with the situation but, was very forgiving and for that, I was glad. She's been defending me and her sister on Twitter for the last two days. I knew that deep down, this was hurting my ex way more than she was letting on but, she wouldn't let anyone in. The whole band came over the day I confessed and have been here all weekend. Jake has probably had to stop me over 100 times for trying to file a police report for a missing person. None of us had heard from Jade. Not even Ashley. Juliet swears she hasn't gotten anything but a very lengthy apology. Her parents haven't heard from her. Blake had tweeted, though, the day of my confession.
@.AndyBVB she's with me
But later that day, he tweeted again.
@.AndyBVB she left. Didn't tell me where she was going. I'm sorry.
So now, I did not know the whereabouts of my girlfriend, or if she was even my girlfriend. The guys had left earlier today and I was going insane. They had been here, keeping me from losing my mind. In the last hour, I've smoked two cartons of cigarettes with no intermissions and checked my phone every ten seconds. I knew Jade hadn't texted me but, I was so hopeful that she had. I've talked to my mom a lot in the last couple days. I truly thought that if Jade never came back, they'd have to put me in an insane asylum. It was driving me crazy not knowing where she was, or if she was safe. That was the main problem, I didn't know if she was safe. That's all I hoped for, is for her to be safe right now. I was thinking of all the bad possibilities. She could get kidnapped, or murdered, or raped, or robbed, or dead, or-
Stop.
I picked up my phone and checked the time. It was 1:37 a.m. I sighed and lit another cigarette. I haven't slept in the last two nights. The bed's been too cold without Jade. I haven't been able to control the little voices in my head, the panic that came over me every time I thought of Jade, the mess of deleted text messages to Jade, the sound of my phone vibrating every time there was a Twitter notification. Ashley and CC's fiancé, Jess, had been calling out random people hating on Jade and telling them that they were never part of the BVB Army and they never would be. Jade was their best friend. Ashley might've been more worried than me. I didn't have the heart to disown any fans. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to do anything, except think about Jade.
CC's birthday was yesterday. Jess had given him a necklace box wrapped in white wrapping paper with a pink and blue checkered ribbon. He'd cried when he opened it. Inside was a positive pregnancy test. I knew Jade would be upset she missed that. She'd beat CC to hugging Jess and crying with her.

In the midst of my thinking, I heard the door open and close. I could hear light footsteps and keys being hung. It could be anyone. I'd had lots of visitors lately. A thump joined the mix of noises I was hearing and stood up. Before I could go investigate the strange noise, something impacted my body, pushing me back, forcefully. Arms wrapped around my neck and legs around my waist and I could feel leather brushed my skin. Then, I was met with the all too familiar smell of cigarettes and vanilla.