Erroneous (Andy Biersack)

Chapter 27

~Jade Simms~

At this point, I'd begun to think that Andy was never going to get out of this slump. I knew I'd never understand what he was going through, but I damn sure was going to try. Andy hasn't eaten anything since the day before Amy's passing, nor has he slept. All he's been doing is laying in bed, staring at the white wall in front of him, and crying. I understood that losing your mother is hard, but it was truly killing me to see him like this. I now understood what he felt like when I had my bad days.
Visitation was at seven tonight and I'd been desperately trying to get Andy out of bed all day. It was now five and he absolutely had to get up. With all the pain he's in, I don't want to force him into anything but, Chris made it clear to me, Andy had to be there. Ashley and Ginger had been around, as well as Jane and her family, all of which have tried to pull Andy out of his slump.
"Baby?" I asked, walking into the Andy and I's bedroom. He didn't seem to notice me, just stayed focused on inhaling and exhaling smoke from his cigarette and the blank white wall in front of him. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, readying myself, before walking to the bed and sitting down.
"Hey Andy," I smiled a little and ran my fingers down his arm. He still didn't acknowledge my presence. "Babe, you need to get out this bed, take a shower, and get dressed." He looked at me. I tried to hold back tears at the look on his face. His expression was full of misery, pain, sadness, and it destroyed me.
"I can't." Those were the first two words I'd gotten out of Andy in what felt like forever. His voice was hoarse and scratchy.
"But-" I was interrupted by the door opening and Ginger walking in, holding up her dress.
"Uncle Andy? I can't find Daddy, and I can't zip my dress. Will you help me?"
Hearing his niece's voice seemed to take Andy out of his trance-like state. He put out his cigarette, sat up, and forced a smile. "Come here, Gingie."
"Thanks," Ginger smiled and made her way to my boyfriend. I watched Andy zip her dress and kiss her forehead. Ginger smiled at Andy one more time before leaving the room. I smiled at my boyfriend and he sighed.
"Baby, are you going to go take a shower?" I asked Andy, who was now looking out of the window.
He nodded and I watched him walk in the bathroom. That was easier than I thought it'd be. The shower started to run and I walked to the closet and pulled out an outfit. I pulled it on, let my brown hair fall naturally, and did some light make-up. By the time I was finished, Andy walked out of the bathroom, a towel hanging at his waist.
"Hey beautiful," he smiled. I smiled at his smile.
"Thank God," I sighed. "I was having withdrawal symptoms. I missed your smile."
Andy rolled his eyes and walked to me. He leaned down and captured my lips in his own. I could feel drops of water hit my face as they fell from Andy's soaked, tangled dark hair. Andy's hands rested on my hips as he kissed me. I could feel the hunger in the kiss, like need. We hadn't so much as touched each other in the last couple of days so I could obviously understand. I was almost sure my kisses carried the same weight of need. Andy pulled me closer to him. His damp chest pressed against my own as we kissed. As much as I was enjoying this, it was almost time to go, and Andy didn't even have any underwear on. I pulled away and grabbed Andy's clothes that sat folded on the foot of our bed. His face dropped as I pressed the bundle of black and white fabric to his chest as he realized where we had to go. He blinked a couple times and sighed. I walked over to the mirror to touch up my makeup a little bit.
I heard Andy's wet towel fall to the ground with a thud and began to mess with my eyebrows. I felt arms go around my waist before I noticed Andy coming up behind me. He had pants on but, no shirt.
"You know, you really do get distracted easily."
He nodded, "Yeah, I know. It's hard not to with you around."
"We're going to be late." I ruined the moment Andy was trying to create and he sighed. I watched his put his shirt and jacket on. He then picked up the black tie and tied it around his neck.
"Let's go," he sighed.
I grabbed his hand and we walked downstairs to see Ashley and Ginger giggling at each other. Jane, her kids, and husband all sat on the couch. Ashley smiled at his bandmate and we all headed out the door.
When we arrived at the funeral home, an elderly man in a suit opened then door for us. Andy thanked him and walked inside. The funeral home was cold and I shivered at the frigid air. Andy quickly shrugged his jacket off and draped it over my shoulders. I smiled at him and hugged it closer to me. We walked in the room where the casket set and saw Chris talking with a teary eyed old lady.
I watched Andy. He wouldn't look at the gray casket his mother's lifeless body laid in. I squeezed Andy's hand and he started walking to his dad. I followed, his hand still in mine. Chris looked over at us, "Hey Andy. Jade."
The elderly woman was next to speak, "This is Andy?"
Chris nodded and she continued, "Oh, you've grown up so much, Andrew! I remember when you were born."
Andy plastered a fake smile on his face and the woman asked, "Who's this young lady?"
"This is my beautiful, amazing girlfriend Jade." Andy looked down at me. I smiled and the lady copied my actions. Two more couples walked in the visitation room and the woman walked on, waving back at Chris. We walked to stand beside Andy's dad.

~Andy Biersack~

The whole night was pretty much a blur. A sea of faces, meaningless smiles, reminiscent stories. Jade never left my side. Ashley and Ginger only stayed for a little while. My niece hated large groups of people, and was tired. Now, we were on our way home, dried tears coated my face, my throat was hoarse from crying, and my thoughts were a mess.
"Babe?" Jade asked.
I looked at her and she continued down the road a little before sighing. "I hate seeing you sad..."
"I know you do, beautiful, but I just can't help it," I huffed.
"I know, I just love you, and I hate it. And I can't stand the fact that I can't..." her eyes were glassy and she paused. "I just..."
She pulled into our driveway and quickly got out the car, leaving me behind her, and heading into the house.
I followed after her as quickly as I could and couldn't hear or see her when I got inside. I walked upstairs. Our bathroom light was on, the door was shut, and just as I entered the room, I heard the lock turn.
"Dammit," I muttered. I walked to the bathroom door and knocked, "Baby, please open the door."
"No..."
"Okay...alright. Then, can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I-I just..."
I heard feet shuffling and the door knob turned and Jade walked out of the bathroom. She stared at me and I pulled her against me and rested my chin on the top of her head. "What's wrong babe?"
"I just feel like maybe you shouldn't be with me. Like you should still be with my sister. She could do this a whole lot better. She could've gotten you to eat this weekend, you wouldn't be so sad, she could've made it better, she wouldn't do all the things I do wrong."
"Jade?" I asked, pulling away and looking into her eyes, "who did I fall in love and give up Juliet for?"
She sniffled, "Me."
"That's right. I fell in love with you. I fell in love with Jade Aslenna Simms, who is human and makes mistakes. I fell in love with you. You as a whole. I fell in love with your flaws, with your imperfections, your strengths, and your weaknesses. I fell in love with everything you are. You make mistakes, and you do things wrong sometimes. Maybe Juliet could've done all those things, but guess what? You're not Juliet and I don't want you to be, babe. I don't want Juliet anymore, I want you. You're amazing, and beautiful, intelligent, fun, adorable, you've got a great ass," she giggled and wiped her eyes, "and that makes up for all the flaws. In my eyes, Jade, you're perfect. I never want you to compare yourself to anyone. Scout, Juliet, anyone. Okay? You are what you are and what you are is flawless. You make me happy, and I really fucking hop I make you happy, and that's all that matters."

I watched her as she walked the short distance to me. She hit me with force and I hit the wall. Jade clung to me like her life depended on it. "I love you so goddamn much, Andy."
"I love you more, Jade. More than you'll ever know."