My Only Wish // Asa Butterfield Fanfiction

Chapter 30

Chapter 30 ~ Rowan
*trigger warning*

After the series of unfortunate events with Kenzie I went back home and made a whole batch of chocolate muffins. I ate two and then went to my room.

It was hard not to break out into jumping jacks and push ups but I knew that I was doing this to live, for Asa and for myself. I had slowly been killing myself and I wasn't gonna let it happen any longer.

After dinner, which I ate till I felt full, I asked mom if I could sleepover at Ashley's. She agreed, and later that evening I packed my bag so I could be ready for tomorrow. Then I sat down on my bed and called Ashley.

"Hey!"

"Hey Ash. I was wondering, what do you think about going shopping for a bit before we head to yours? I'm just SO bored at home I thought maybe that would be something entertaining?" I didn't mention that all the trying on would be majorly triggering, but I wanted to beat that fear.

"Oooh! You are SUCH a genius Row! How about we meet by school at 3 tomorrow? Then we drop off your stuff and head to the mall.

"Sounds perfect."

"Okay. See ya!" She said energetically and hung up. I smiled to myself and put away my phone, then pulled on my pj's making sure not to look at the mirror, and fell into bed.

* * * *

I knocked on the door and glanced down at my feet as I heard rustling inside the house. Suddenly the door flew open and I saw a smiling Ashley.

"Eeee! This is gonna be so much fun Rowan, come on in." She said happily, half-hugging me and leading me inside. I said hello to her mom and we headed back up to her oh-so-perfect room.

"I was thinking, we could start with a movie? Then just chill and talk or something, and I had this idea, we could bake something? I know THE best cupcake recipe..." Ashley suggested. I dropped my bag near the platform that lifted her bed higher than all the other furniture.

"Sure, that would be cool!" I said, even though my head was swimming with different thoughts. Then I remembered Asa, the long talk we had had after, and I realized that I NEEDED to do this.

"Awesome. I can't wait"

"Sorry about the whole change of plans, I had to help my mom with something. BUT we can totally still go shopping! I just remebered about it." Ashley smiled.

"Sure. I have money so that's fine."

"Okay so how about mall, home, movie, and talking? We can skip the cupcakes." She suggested. I nodded eagerly. I had finally adjusted myself to a proper mindset about shopping so I was super excited to beat the battle I had been scared of.

"Okay wait one sec." I watched as Ashley grabbed a few things from different placed in her room and stuffed them in a cute flowered purse. It went great with her light blue skinny jeans and white fluffy sweater. I glanced down at myself, and bit my lip nervously.

"Do I...Do I look okay to you?" I asked quietly as Ash slipped on her uggs.

"Row you look amazing, as usual! I LOVE your style but I could never pull it off." She admitted.

I examined my black jeans, brown combat boots, oversized maroon sweater and denim jacket layered over. I had slightly adjusted my style since our move to London, layering mostly because I wanted to cover up my body, but I noticed I actually preferred a slightly more tomboy look than what I used to wear, a simple copy of what my friends did.

"Thanks." I said with a smile, fetching my purse from my sleepover bag, and we headed out the door.

Our plan of the mall was to walk all around and circle back to where we came from in order to hit as many stores as possible. After checking out Topshop, New Look and Claire's we stopped at Starbucks.