My Only Wish // Asa Butterfield Fanfiction

Authors Note

April of 2014, one scene in mind, I decided to give fanfiction a try, and careened forward into a new journey, not quite sure what to expect.

One and a half years, 35 chapters and Ten thousand views later, here I am.

First and foremost, thank you. To any of you who decided to click on my mess of a book cover and cheesy title and devote even a few minutes of your time. Whether you read one page or the whole book, I'm so thankful to all of you. This story would be nothing without the readers. I would never have the motivation to continue if it wasn't for your comments, your support and compliments. It truly makes all the difference.

Wattpad allows me to see where my readers are from, and when I found out how many nationalities you guys are from, I freaked! Some of you are from places like Vietnam, Serbia, the Philippines, Greece, Nigeria, Colombia, Denmark, Sweden, Mexico, Ireland...so many more places then I ever imagined and this blows my mind!

Second, I hope you enjoyed it! Although I am proud of the outcome of this story, I definitely don't think this is my best piece of writing, not even one of. I did however enjoy writing it, and really that's what counts the most. Besides, from the feedback I get from you guys, I can assure myself that it was worth it!

Third, you might be wondering, is this the end? To answer that question, most likely yes. I might end up surprising you guys with some kind of epilogue in a few months, so you might want to keep this in your library ;), but I'm not quite sure yet.

However, that doesn't mean you won't be getting more from me!

For a while now I've been working on an poetic format story titled Psychotic, which you can find in my works. I update often, so you should check it out!

What about fanfiction? Well, for a while now, I've been planning a next big project!

Caged is a love story with a slight twist, because unlike My Only Wish, Caged will be told from the BOY'S point of view.. Louis Tomlinson being the main character. I'm so incredibly excited to write this, and even if you don't like One Direction I really hope you give it a try and see if you like it :) Look out for the first chapter very soon!

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This story is completely fictional. All the characters were made up by me. Except for Asa, however, I have no contact with him at all and his personality is simply from my imagination. I do not want to get accused of false information, for I really do not know what Asa is like and I simply wrote about him in a fictional event. Fanfiction is a "genre" widely spread on Wattpad, so I take no credit for the idea. This is just the outcome of inspiration.

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Rowan is the main character of the story, and as you read on you find out she struggles with an eating disorder. Eating disorders are a mental illness, not a "diet" or a "lifestyle". In the long run, they are also not a choice. Although at first a person may decide to restrict or purge, the illness itself is not something someone decides to pursue. Recovery is not simple. In most cases, it includes therapy and in lots of cases, hospitalisation.

Anorexia isn't the only eating disorder. Bulimia is the second most recognised, however BED (binge eating disorder) EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) and Orthorexia are also common. Eating disorders are NOT a joke. They have the highest mortality rate from ANY mental illness. Woman are much more likely to develop an eating disorder, however, this does not mean men cannot. An estimated 10-15% of people suffering are men.

When writing this fan fiction, I wanted my character to be more than just a lucky girl. I've read too many fan fictions where the girl meets her idol and their world turns into a paradise. I wanted my story to hit a spot, have a deeper meaning. I wanted to raise awareness about a real problem. I didn't want the girls only problem to be that she was getting hate on twitter for dating the celebrity.

I also hope that after reading this you've gained and gotten a better insight on eating disorders and mental illness as well. In the beginning of the book, it is also mentioned that Rowan suffers from anxiety. I didn't want to go deeper into this, however, that does not mean it isn't a problem that should be ignored. In a later chapter, I mentioned that Ashley, Rowan's new best friend, suffers from depression, that is also a common illness, especially in teens today. Through Ashley, I wanted to portray that depression isn't always a quiet teenager with dark eyes and black clothing. Depression can be a problem for anyone.

Mental illness isn't a joke. It's not something that anyone can just "get over". It isn't beautiful, or quirky and it is DEFINITELY NOT "tumblr". Mental illness is serious, and I hoped that with this story I could somehow reach out to the topic.

If you're struggling, be it from an Eating disorder, depression, anxiety, OCD. If you're bipolar, schizophrenic, if you self harm, feel suicidal.

Please, know that you are worth the world. You are not a burden. You are not a problem, you are not worthless, and you are NOT your mental illness. You are the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh or the song you listen to at 2am when you can't sleep. You are the movies you watch on repeat and that quote you have memorized by heart. You are not defined by anything that causes you pain. You are defined by the sun that radiates from your smile and no matter how utterly hopeless you may feel at the moment, you are worth every penny ever made on this world. You are worthy of love and if you don't see the point of living, I am here. Please, message me if you ever need to reach out to someone. You will not be judged.

Once again, thank you, every single one of you, for taking your time to read, to give feedback, to comment. Your support means the world to me and I wouldn't have made it without you. I'm so grateful for all my beautiful readers, my gratitude could stretch to the moon and back.

Love you, and for the last time....

Stay lifted👌<3

- Tal