My Only Wish // Asa Butterfield Fanfiction

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 ~ Rowan

I woke up the next morning with a huge lump in my throat. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to be the new girl, the outcast. I knew only Asa, but he would probably be so caught up with his friends that he wouldn't even notice me. Ugh. And of course, I would stand out in the crowd, with my auburn hair. Sure, it wasn't flaming red but it still was different than other peoples hair. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so bad in my baggy sweatpants and sweatshirt, but it was the only way to hide what I looked like underneath. Fat whale, I muttered under my breath as I pulled out some clothes from my half unpacked suitcase. I started to pull my sweats off when I realized I had a uniform, and cursed to myself as I pulled it out of the closet. Kayla was not in the room, so I took off my pajamas and threw on the uniform. My huge body looked revolting in the tight mini black skirt, white button down and blue sweater. What happened to tights? I pulled open the door and hollered down the stairs.

"MOOOOOM AM I ALLOWED TO WEAR TIGHTS?" I heard someone sigh loudly.

"Yes Rowan. Please don't shout." I rolled my eyes and slammed the door in reply, and pulled out a pear of white tights. They looked hideous on my fat, cow like legs. I just wanted to cry. I could smell eggs and bacon from downstairs, and I heard my stomach rumble. My head said something else as I ran down the stairs.

"Good morning shoutyhead. Care to join us for breakfast?" Dad asked, looking up from his book. Mom turned around, and slapped the book out of his hand. She hated when he read at the table. Dad sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"No thank you. How am I getting to school?" I asked.

"That was not a question Rowan. Sit down, I made you some eggs." Mom said, setting a plate of scrambled eggs, and golden toast covered with butter in front of my face. My stomach squirmed as I sat down. Frantically, I searched my brain for how many calories this would be but for some reason I couldn't figure it out.

/Don't eat hun. You'll be fatter than ever and Asa will never like you/ I heard the little voice whisper.

I started playing around with my food, mushing it around, cutting it up and ripping the bread into tiny pieces.

"Rowan if you don't like eggs I can make you something else. We have lots of time." Mom said, leaning against the counter. Why was she so insistent that I eat?? She used to care less.

"I'm just not hungry mom. Before school butterflies basically." I lied. The last year had been full of those. Stupid excuses, lies, baggy clothes and stomach pains, but it was worth it. I was still fat though, and I couldn't let a stupid plate of eggs ruin that.

"Just eat it. You'll be fine." Mom said, sighing. I looked down at my feet, waiting for her to turn around but she didn't. I sighed inwardly and took a forkful of eggs and put it in my mouth. It tasted like old socks and vomit. I wanted to die. I took another, and then another, swallowing as if I had two dozen rocks in my mouth. I ate nearly the whole plate and half the toast. Then I stood up and ran a hand through my hair.

"So..."

"I'm taking you and everyone else." Mom explained.

"Okay." I ran out of the room and up to the bathroom and into the bathroom to brush out the horrible taste. I would somehow have to burn the calories before it was too late.

By the time I went down everyone was ready.

"Okay, let's go." Mom said with a smile. I smiled back, not really feeling like it though, and climbed into the backseat. We all drove in silence as the radio told us quietly about the happenings in the world. The man speaking had an accent..something that I would have to get used to. We dropped off Mikey and then Mom slowly drove up to the front of my school. There was a tons of people, standing around, talking, laughing. I spotted Asa with a bunch of guys, and I nearly melted. He looked so good in the uniform, and that's when I truly saw how thin he was.

"Good luck Row! Have fun! You can walk home, yeah??" Mom asked, turning around. I nodded. I opened the jeep door. I heard mom turn up the volume so she could listen to some old country somg.

"I know what you're playing at Rowan and it's pointless. There's nothing to you to start with, so cut it out or I'm telling." Kayla's voice hissed behind me as I pulled my bag on my shoulder. I felt shivers run down my spine.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said quietly, and shut the door behind me.

I ran up to the yard, forcing myself not to look back. She was going to tell mom. I trusted Kayla! I never told her straight out, but I was pretty sure she would find out sooner or later. But not now. I tried to forget about it, and leaned against the wall. I looked at Asa. He must of sensed someone looking at him, because he turned around and looked back. His eyes widened. I watched as he said something to his friends and started walking towards me. I felt my stomach fill up with butterflies. Instantly, I sucked it in and stood up straighter.

"Hey Rowan! How long have you been standing around like this?"

"Oh not so long. Hi....Gosh Asa I'm so nervous I've never been the new girl I don't think I can handle this especially since Kayla found-"

"Woah, slow down girl! You'll be fine, you're a great person they'll like you! And what did Kayla? Talk slower I don't understand." He said, stopping me mid-sentence. I tried not to gasp. I had almost spilled it!

"Oh nothing, sorry, I'm just a bit overwhelmed. That's all." I explained, feeling my stomach turn into a hundred thousand knots. I was such an idiot! UGH!

"Oh, okay. That's fine. How about I take you around? Class starts soon and you're in my class so..." He said, looking at me.

"Yeah that would be great!" I said, faking my cheeriness. I was still so shook up by the morning's events, I didn't even want to know what the day would hold.

I am SUCH a bad wattpader, I know. I'm just SO busy, but I try! I hope you guys liked it, I'll try to upload Chapter 10 soon!!