His Lover's Killer

Final Confessions

(Steve's POV)

Beep, beep, beep.

At least it's at a normal speed than before... I thought to myself, trying to stay positive. This was my third visit this week and it was only Thursday, two days after Nick-, well after everything that happened...

The doctors told me that he was in a coma, since the bullet hit the nerve systems that made his body shut down somehow. But I didn't want to think it as a coma, I thought it more like... taking a long nap, that made it sound more comfortable. My legs were shaking uncontrollably, so I had to rest my hands on them to stop the shaking. My eyes were so clouded with tears that I have yet to get to that I couldn't even see what was in front of me. But I didn't need to, the sound of the cardiac monitor told me that Nick was still alive, well at least I hope he was.

He saved my life back there, but all I could feel in my body was guilt. He shouldn't have been shot, he was just doing his job to protect me. I could feel the warmness of a tear fall down my cheek as I contained my emotions. Maybe this was what he wanted all along? To disappear from everything, to go back to where he first found happiness. I wondered if he could see Jessica from where he's at. But he's not dead. My mind kept telling me. He's just asleep.... Yeah, asleep... F-for a long time... I shook my head and looked down at my shaking hands, clenching them into fists. Come on, you have to control yourself! Stop being such a baby!

The sound of the door startled me as I looked up in fear but it was only the doctor. I stood up nervously and walked over towards him.

"I-is Nick going to be alright?" I asked him, my teeth chattering inside my mouth.

When the doctor sighed, I knew it was bad news.

"We're doing everything we can but it's been difficult. His bones are very fragile to work with, we don't want to damage more of his body." His tone sounded like there was nothing else to do, but to wait.

My lip was tumbling as the doctor put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm very sorry Mr. Riles. We're doing the best we can." He said sympathetically. "The best we can" What does that even mean in a situation like this? I could possibly loose my best friend... My love...

Bitting my lip, I slowly looked up and nodded. "T-thank y-you doctor...."

And with that, he asked me to leave since it was already getting late in the day. As I slowly made my way towards the door, I couldn't help but glance at Nick. He looked so relaxed, which he needed. I was glad that he was finally resting but the thought of him never waking up, never making his life better just hurt me inside. I tried so hard to help him out on changing his life to something better, but it still ended badly. No, it's not the end... It can't be, it just can't.

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As I walked down the streets alone, I felt so much more afraid to be alone than I've ever been when I was trapped in that criminal's arms. This just didn't feel right. I was fine, I wasn't hurt but Nick... He'd suffer through so much and he could possibly die any time soon. I shook my head to clear the negative thoughts away. No, he'll be fine! He will.... He will... How would I know though? I had no way of knowing if my hero was going to live after the brave stunt he did back there. But I had to stay positive, like I kept telling him, always think positive. But how could I if someone that I truly cared about life was on stake? I sighed defeatedly. Now I knew how Nick must've felt when he saw that Jessica died.... The unbearable pain in my chest from the thought of loosing someone so special to you, now I got why he wanted to give up, because of the suffering he went through. Shaking my head for the fifth time today, I clenched my fists by my side. No, stop this! I can't think like this anymore! Nick kept going, you can too!