His Lover's Killer

Just Another Memory

Feeling the cold air on my skin, I took out another cigaret out of the box with my frozen hands. This was my sixth one, or was it my seventh? I lost count but it was keeping me distracted, which I was fine with for once.

Brining the heat of the lighter, I let out a poof of smoke as I exhaled. Sitting alone in the dark wasn't fun, especially when I desperately needed someone to hold. But there was no one anymore. So I just sat there on the steps of my porch. My porch... It was ours. Not anymore.

I sighed deeply, dropping my head down. There were only a couple of tears that managed to come out, I wasted the rest of them with my last and hopefully final breakdown. I was so fucking sick of myself, I'm usually so strong, nothing could hurt me, not even breaking a bone could make me shed a tear. But here I was, crying my heart out and being my pathetic self.

Why even fucking bother trying to cover up Nick? Let's face it, you're done, you've lost. Just do yourself a favor and just end it now. My mind was scolding me and gave me good ideas that I would consider, but I just sat still, absorbing it's negativity.

When the blow of a hard wind came threw, I couldn't help but shiver, even though I've been staying perfectly still. As I was considering what my mind was telling me to do, my long last enemy came back to stab my stomach once again.

"Ahh!" I couldn't help but scream.

The pain surprised me when I held myself close together. Tears that I didn't know I had left started streaming down my face. I took a deep breath, lowering my back on the deck behind me. Deeply sighing, I opened my eyes slightly, looking up at the dark moonlight that shined up above. The sky looked so peaceful and calm, it was amazing to just stop and stare at it. I wondered what I would've been doing if Jess were still here. Maybe out on another romantic date with her? She was always embarrassed how much I've spoiled her but I knew she loved it.

I sniffed to try to hold my emotions back, I didn't want to take this moment away. The day I met Jessica was at a college visit. We weren't from the same school but since it was a state school, mostly all of the schools around the world came together. My parents forced me to go, obviously. They said that it was a great school to get a doctor degree, but I had my mind on the Navy. Not cause it was a good escape from my darkness times then, but I just wanted to get away from everything. From my failed attempts, from my disappointed parents, just from all of the negativity. I smirked at that thought cause of the irony.

Anyway back to my flashback, I didn't want to be there at the stupid college but I thought that I would give it a try. As the tour began, we were put into groups. I don't know why, I guess they couldn't trust us roaming around free. I was in group... What is it again? Anyway that didn't matter. But as I skimmed through who was in the group, my eyes paused at the one with the bright silvery blonde hair, who shyly kept to herself and her face slightly turning pink. I swear to god I was seeing some sort of angel, maybe something better than that. My heart was trying to escape my chest as I wanted to get to her so badly. Why did she look so scared? Did she not want to be here as much as I did? I took a deep breath as I slowly walked over to her. I don't know what I was thinking, but my heart called out for her and I suppose that I had to listen to it. When I got to her, I saw her flinch by the sight of me.

I cleared my throat. "S-sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just that... Uh.. I uhm.." My immature teenage boyhood was coming out, not an ideal time for that.

"I couldn't help but seeing you here, and I was uhm, just wondering why a beautiful young lady like yourself be all alone." To my surprise, I was able to say that comfortably. When her sweet smile finally came across her face, my heart jumped from excitement. And as she laughed, that made my whole body warm up.

"Well I suppose that's because no one smart enough have the courage to come up to me." The sweetness in her voice took my breath away. She was perfect; her angelic face, her frail yet firm small body, her piercing sky blue eyes. It looked like she was from above. I had to shake my head to restrain from keeping her bored.

"Look like they're missing out on something amazing that only I can see." That what got her to win my heart. Her delicate laugh came out again and I couldn't help but smile wider.

As she pulled some of hair back into place, she reached out her hand towards me.

"Jessica Jackles." She said confidently.

I gently grabbed her hand. "Nick Kendall." And we shook.

That touch was the beginning of something that I would never dream come true. And it did but it was gone too quickly. I shook my head to get rid of the glory of that treasure. A treasure that I can never find again. Because it only comes once in a lifetime, and when you loose it, you'll never be able to see it ever again.