"sorry, i fucked your wife." blitza croaked, flashing a razor-toothed grin at prince stellan before getting out of that courtyard before he noticed the priceless artifact of his tucked under her arm and murdered her for stealing it (and for fucking...
[Some lines, and the whole idea of Sallie May filling in for Millie, were suggested by Nightw2 on ao3. Sallie May isn't one of my favourite characters but I figured it would make sense]
"As a professional girlboss myself, I am personally offended by this." Blitza lifted her chin angrily. "You want to kill this Wilma Diddle person just 'cuz she's girlbossing too hard???"
The client rolled his eyes. "She isn't "girlbossing too hard", moron. She's a literal sex offender!"
Blitza titled her head.
"Wilma Diddle not only rapes 15-year-olds regularly and poaches endangered species, but she also does chemical weapons research off the books, indulges in war profiteering, encourages sweat-shop working conditions and, in my case, murders employees when their consciences start to get the better of them."
"So you don't just want this bitch dead, but you also want enough evidence discreetly delivered to international law enforcement to get her company shut down for good." Blitza realized.
"Exactly." He replied. "I'll pay extra for you guys doing some detective work."
"Fine." Blitza relented. "But you better pay me extra, not just for the detective work, but also for me to kill a fellow girlboss. Even if she's a shitty person."
***
Wilma Diddle sits at her desk with a cigar, reading some reports. Blitza and Moxxie and Sallie May crawl through an air vent above her, deforming the vent with the bugle they make.
"Ow ow ow!" Blitza grunted as Moxxie was squishing her legs with his forearms.
"We don't all fit, ma'am." Moxxie scowled.
"Ow! Your horns are in my face!" Sallie May complained.
"Dammit Moxxie, move your ass!" Blitza lightly swatted him with her tail. "I need a better angle!"
"Ma'am! This is a terrible plan! I told you we could've just poisoned her daily coffee."
"Wha— and ruin a perfectly good mochaccino? Not on your worthless life." Blitza snapped. "Besides, this is just as much about getting this shitty-ass company shut down as killing her. Hence the reason we're trying to get the evidence against this company first. That way, everyone will know the crimes she committed after we kill her."
"Hey, city girl." Sallie May began. "Correct me if I'm wrong, as I am filling in for my sister on the field while she's pregnant— and thanks for having the bird and your son with her to make sure she isn't alone in the office— but you do have that Crystal, so, after we get the evidence and discreetly deliver it to the cops—"
"Several branches." Blitza corrected.
"—we could just portal in behind her and finish the job." Sallie May finished.
"Well, yeah. I would say that was boring, but we're going to be getting enough excitement off the evidence-gathering anyway." Blitza agreed.
They kept crawling, but Moxxie heard and felt the metal breaking. "Err, ma'am, I think this vent is starting to give way."
"Ah shit!" Blitza cried as she heard it too. She rubbed her Asmodean Crystal to open a portal behind her. "Get out of here! It probably won't break if I'm the only one here."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
