"sorry, i fucked your wife." blitza croaked, flashing a razor-toothed grin at prince stellan before getting out of that courtyard before he noticed the priceless artifact of his tucked under her arm and murdered her for stealing it (and for fucking...
[Take a shot every time Barbie goes "ughhhhhhh" in this short]
Barbie-Wire slapped her thigh in frustration. "Come on! You can't fire me!"
Her boss Gerald typed on the computer before looking up at her. "Uh... oh, boy, how do I put this? You, job, no more."
"I barely did anything wrong!" Barbie insisted.
"Ooh, yeah, well, you got a human killed, which caught the attention of the authorities and cut the supply line."
"Oh, fuck off! It's just one ugly-as-shit human! And it wasn't even my fault!" She grabbed Gerald's hand. "Look Gerald, I need this fucking gig. What happened to the strike system, huh?"
"Well, strike 1 was the time you rammed the ambulance driver."
"He was double-parked!"
He turned the monitor to face her. "Strike 2 was when you sent that mass email that threatened to, and I quote, "fuck the boss's tight ass and his hot-as-fuck wife"."
Barbie banged on the monitor. "That wasn't a threat! That was an offer!"
[A/N: Awwww the Buckzo twins are so alike 🥹]
"And strike 3 was killing that ugly human." Gerald held out his hand. "Now, please hand over your Asmodean Crystal."
Barbie possessively covered her Crystal. "What?! But Moddie gave this to me herself! You can't confiscate something she gave me, asshole!"
"Actually Barb, we can." He corrected. "Moddie doesn't give out Asmodean Crystals for demons to fuck around on earth. She gifted you that thing to help you do your job. Since you no longer have your job, there's no real reason for you to keep your Crystal."
Barbie frowned, realizing that was true. Asmodean Crystals were too expensive for Barbie to get so Moddie gave her this one as a gift, but only because it was related to Barbie's job.
"Now, please hand it over. We'll send half of your remaining check in the mail."
"Half?!" Barbie screamed. "Argh, fine!" She ripped off her Asmodean Crystal and threw it onto Gerald's desk. "Fuck you and your dumb job anyway! Who fucking needs ya?!"
She stormed out of the pharmacy, yelping "Ow!" when she accidentally closed the door on her tail.
She took out her phone and texted Fizzarollia the bad news. guess who just got fired and lost the crystal ur wife gave me. have to take the elevator home.
Fizz had been sitting on her couch at home when she got the text. She replied with a meme of a 4-eyed demon cat smoking.
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bad timing lol it sucks, was it for being too much of a hot bitch or waaat? Fizz typed.
remember when i came to visit u cuz my cunt of a sister followed me into the human world? that's what got my boss all pissy at me.
