helluva girlboss

s2e5: unhappy campers

[Ik this ep was rated the worst, but I liked it.

My only complaint is Barbie-Wire should've been given a bigger role. This ep should've been all about her and all about the strained relationship between the Buckzo twins, but she only pops up at the ending. And it's annoying cuz Barbie was literally at camp the whole time, so why couldn't they introduce her sooner?🤦‍♀️

So I let her be introduced in the middle of the episode instead of the ending, so she gets a bit more screentime.

Also I thought about genderswapping Barbie but I ended up not doing it, even tho that would've been super cool.]

Blitza scaled the wall to a rehab centre.

"Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on." She whispered as she opened the window. She tries to get inside but her head has a hard time getting inside with her horns blocking it. She falls and shoulder-rolls forward.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!!!" She hissed.

She thought she was on high alert, but apparently not, because the infamous Nurse Pussyface tazered her right in the butthole below her tail.

"Well, if it isn't the deadbeat." The nurse snarked.

Blitza stands up after her painful taze and brushes her bare arms.

"Well, if it isn't Nurse Pussyface." Blitza countered with a bitter grin.

"You ain't getting in here!" The nurse insisted. "How many times do I have to sodomize you with this taser before you take a hint?"

Blitza brushed off her skirt. "As many as it takes to get me off! Now enough with this foreplay, where's Barb?"

"Barb? She checked out months ago! But that ain't none of your business."

"Wait, what?" Blitza blinked in surprise. "When did— Where did she go? Was she with anyone or was she alone?"

She approached the nurse, but the nurse tazered the air, which made Blitza instinctively flinch back. "Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you, whore."

"...You know I kill for a living, right, bitch?"

"Ooo, I'm so fuckin' scared!" The nurse thrilled, making jazz hands. You gotta hand it to her that she's pretty fearless, not being scared of a literal assassin.

"You know what, fine! Who needs you?! I'll track my sister down by myself!" Blitza gave up and stomped her way back to the window and started climbing out.

"Blitza!" The nurse said angrily. "She's got a job now! A life! Don't fuck it up by findin' her!"

"Oh, yeah, that's nice. Why don't you take that opinion that nobody cares about and shove it right between your pussy liiiiiiips!" She finished as she lost her balance and fell from the window.

***

Moxxie and Millie are talking to a sinner client, who is a teenage boy who looks like a drowned victim. Blitza bursts open the door, now covered in bush leaves, bruises, and dirt.

"Ma'am!" Moxxie said. "There's a client here who wants to—"

Blitza marches to her office and slams the door shut.

Millie turns back to the sinner with a chuckle. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

The sinner explained he knows a camp counsellor murdered him, but he doesn't know which one.

"Hmm." Moxxie places a finger below his chin. "We don't typically do investigations. *gestures his thumb to Blitza's office* I'll have to check with the boss."