"sorry, i fucked your wife." blitza croaked, flashing a razor-toothed grin at prince stellan before getting out of that courtyard before he noticed the priceless artifact of his tucked under her arm and murdered her for stealing it (and for fucking...
[Can't believe they got the voice of SpongeBob here.
It's so fucking annoying this couldn't be a full-length episode cuz they kinda missed an opportunity to use SpongeBob's VA in a full-length episode 🤧
Some lines were suggested by Nightw2 on ao3]
"So you're a Bigfoot hunter?" Blitza asked her client.
"Yeah." He said. "I was killed by the big, furry fuckwad himself while on the hunt."
"Uh..." Blitza tilted her head skeptically. "Are you sure you weren't just killed by a tree falling on you? I mean, look at your sinner form. You literally have tree branches growing out of your hair."
He did have a sinner form that resembled a tree, indicating he could've been killed by a tree.
"No, that's only 'cuz I was in the forest when I died!" He insisted. "Bigfoot is the one who pushed over the tree so it'd land on me!"
"Did you see him pushing over the tree?"
"No, but it had to be him!"
Blitza crossed her arms. "Uh-huh... sounds like you just wanna pin the blame on Bigfoot because you're sore that you couldn't hunt him down. Are you even sure Bigfoot exists? Maybe you've spent your whole career chasing a mythical creature."
The man glared at Blitza. "Look, I'll pay you in advance, so you'll get the money whether Bigfoot exists or not. Just get off your ass and go kill him already!"
***
At a diner at the Pacific Northwest, M&M are undercover, both disguised as a trenchcoat-wearing man. Millie was at the top wearing a hat and mustache, reading a newspaper on Bigfoot's sightings. Moxxie was at the bottom, drinking a root beer.
A waiter came over with a pitcher. "Does your dick need a refill?"
"No thankssss." Millie said in a deeper voice. Moxxie gave the waiter a thumbs-up.
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"Okay." The waiter left.
Blitza kicked open the front door and skated in on rollerblades, dressed in a disguise. Sallie May followed her in, also dressed in a disguise. The 2 of them had been walking all around the small town, asking people questions to help them get a lead on where Sasquatch lived.
"Eugh, another dead end." Blitza opened the file on Bigfoot. "They all act like they know this sasquatch guy, but then no-one sees him!"
"Yeaaah, something tells me they ain't the observant types." Millie commented.
From the parking lot, Bigfoot watched them. He knew they were onto him.
Sallie May raised an eyebrow at M&M in the trenchcoat, smirking. Millie was sitting at the top...
