Girl Causing Chaos

Chapter 28 - Big Girl Boots

*Ally POV*

*Beginning from when Ally left Amelia and Ashleigh at subway*

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Decisions.

I hated making them. They were so final and so difficult; you can't change your mind, there is no test to see how well they'll turn out, it's so risky.

I could go with the safe option and not show tonight. Stay just friends with Cameron. Go back to how we were before we even dated, back to when everything was easy and I could date anyone and not care about it, hang out with the boys and not feel awkward around Cam. Simple.

But I still wanted Cameron.

If I did that, I would miss out on his kisses, holding his hand, waking up to his face and that adorable smile that only I got to see, the one where he looked at me as if I were the sun and he was surrounded by darkness.

And I would miss out on the things that haven't happened yet, which I had always hoped would, things like moving in together, getting married, growing old. Could I really throw that away?

Even if I did go today, it won't necessarily work out, he many just tell me that he hates me and never wants to get back together. He could tell me that he only gave me the option of being friends because he thought it was the right thing to do and we could forget our relationship ever happened, but that the fact that I came would prove to him that I was just going to make his life difficult and he wants me to stay the hell away.

I couldn't decide which was worse.

I hurried down the narrow street towards home. It had taken me a while but I'd nearly reached home.

My legs burned and my feet ached but I barely noticed, all I could think about was Cameron Dallas.

Flinging open the door, I charged into the lounge and threw myself down on the couch with a huff.

"Hey! Ally! Where have you been? The doctors said they'd released you hours ago! You could've messaged me to say where you were!" Mum claimed, unwrapping her apron and sitting down beside me, "how are you feeling?"

"Conflicted, anxious, indecisive and slightly sick, thanks for asking." I replied, not even giving her a sarcastic smile along with the remark.

"Oh dear, I didn't even get a sarcastic smile with that one, things must be bad." She replied as if she'd just read my mind, "Was there something wrong with the hospital?"

"No. There's something wrong with me." I sulked, leaning my head on her shoulder and sniffing loudly, "Why did I do it?"

"Do what hunny?"

And so I told her, I told her how I cheated on Cameron with some asshole and how he made it his mission to hook up with every girl that breathed near him and how he'd protected me and the kiss and the ultimatum.

After I'd finished my mum sighed and started stroking my hair, "Well darling, you made a mistake. Everyone does in their lifetime. It could have been a better mistake like embarrassing your drunk self, but then again it could have been worse like trying to drive home drunk and accidentally killing someone, but those things didn't happen and you need to get over what did. Ally, you need to forgive yourself before you can choose what you want to do, because if you go but still feel so much guilt and sorrow, you won't have the relationship you want with him. If you can find a way to accept what you did and forgive him for how he retaliated, then I'm sure you can work things out with Cameron, either as friends or as partners. It's your choice what you do tonight, follow your heart and choose what will bring you the most joy."