Little Daisy

No More Miracles

"Second time at state. Are you two ready for this?" Mrs. Taylor asks, as they load bags into the car.

"Ready as I'll ever be to watch a Texas football game." Rae says, clambering into her seat.

"Mom, can we actually get something good to eat in Austin?" Julie asks, putting her feet up.

"Like what?" Mrs. Taylor asks, following the bus as it gets onto the freeway.

"Anything that's not ribs, steak, or barbeque." Julie says firmly and her mother gives her a sideways glance.

"Jules, you know that is not possible. This is Austin, Texas."

They arrive at the stadium with enough time to look around with awe. Even Rae admits that the stadium is impressive then follows Julie back to the hotel, arguing about Texas culture.

"Have you decided on a school?" Julie asks as Rae lies on the floor with Gracie and her toys. Carden looks up.

"Uh, maybe." She says hesitantly. Julie gives her a confused look. "Don't look at me like that." She protests.

"Well, that's not a very clear answer." Julie points out and Rae shrugs, blowing kisses to Gracie.

"Well, I got into Duluth. And they have a great school and a great campus and I have a nice scholarship there and I can get loans and it's up north and Carden could play. Duluth East has a fantastic hockey program and I would love to see Carden play for them at state. But that's a long ways from Texas." She says, not looking at Carden or Julie.

"A long way from Tim." Julie corrects her.

"Texas, Tim, what's the difference? They're one and the same. San Antonio is great, but it is no Duluth." She says sadly.

"Did you get into San Antonio?" Julie asks and Rae gives her a look.

"I did. I like the campus and I like the school and the classes. Good scholarship. Better than Duluth. It'll save me money. But it means I'll stay here and he will too." She says, nodding to Carden, who has his knees drawn up to his chest. Julie stands and picks Gracie up.

"I gotta change her diaper." She says quietly and leaves the room. Rae takes a deep breath then looks up at Carden.

"Duluth East." He states and she nods. "You think I could play for Duluth East?" She laughs and opens her arms. He scoots into her hug.

"Car, you could play for anyone on this planet. Anyone. You've only been out two years. Less, if I can move up the second I graduate." She tells him and he's quiet for a long moment.

"That means leaving Tim." He says quietly and she just kisses his head.

"I know." She admits. "But if it's meant to be, it'll be. He is my boyfriend, you are my brother. You are family and I made a commitment to mom when she died to take care of you, no matter what, no questions asked. I will be your older sister until I die. You are more important."

"Where do you want to go?" Carden asks suddenly, leaning back so he can see her face. "If I wasn't a factor and neither was Tim, where would you go? Because you can make choices, Mais, choices for you. It's not always about us." He tells her and she simply pulls him into a hug again.

"Last time." Tim whispers as she leans against him in the lobby.

"Last time, best time." Rae whispers back. "I have loved watching you every second these last two seasons Tim. Know that."

"And I have loved you in the stands for me." He says, kissing her head. "I love that you're my girl."

"Win or lose, hell or high water. Always your girl." She tells him, stretching up and kissing him.

The game does not start off well. Rae watches with trepidation as Tim misses a pass and they head into the locker room, Matt hollering at Smash, Smash yelling at Tim, and Tim yelling at Matt.

"Do you think they're going to lose?" Carden asks her and she simply slides her hand over his mouth.

"See, see, it's going to be ok." Rae insists, cheering as Tim enters the end zone. "Just like last year. We will come back. It's ok." She repeats. "It's ok." She uses it like a mantra, continuous throughout her mind.

She watches in horror as Smash jumps up for a ball and is slammed to the ground, his knee bent in a funny way. She covers her mouth as the entire stadium falls silent, unsure. She watches as Coach Taylor runs onto the field and as Smash is carried off, Julie's hand finds hers.

"There's no way he can come back." Julie says quietly.

"I know. I know." Mrs. Taylor says, hands in front of her mouth. The Titans line up to take the field goal and Rae closes her eyes. She doesn't want to see this. She just wants a happy ending.

She doesn't get it.

Tim says nothing after the game. Matt says nothing. Rae and Carden follow Julie and Mrs. Taylor to the locker room, joined by the rest of the families. They stand in silence until Coach Taylor breaks it.

"I wanted everyone's friends and family to be in here to hear this, gentleman." He explains. "I have never been more proud of a team than I am right now. I am in awe of each and every one of you gentleman. You played great football tonight. This is the game that people are going to talk about for years to come. This is the game you are going to talk about. There's not a single person in this room who is ever going to be the same. You be proud of yourselves. Because gentleman, you are champions." With that, he leaves.

"Babe." Rae says softly, when Tim exits the locker room. She reaches up and gently wipes a bit of blood off his forehead, touching the sling that his shoulder is in, categorizing his injuries.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, leaning his head against hers.

"God Tim, for what?" She asks, gently running a hand into his hair.

"I wanted to give you that one last time. Run onto the field, me pick you up; spin you around, state ring. One more time. And I failed." He says, tearing leaking out of the corner of his eyes.

"Tim, never." She says ferociously. "I love you. I love you more than life itself. I love you and there is never a moment in time that you disappointed me. Get that through your football addled brain. It was never about running onto the field or showing off your state ring. It has been about you and loving you and us. My love does not depend on football, no matter what you think. So don't ever think that you disappointed me today."

"I love you." He says and with a final kiss, he is gone. Rae watches him board the bus and with a sinking feeling, realizes that for the first time she doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.