Code Blue

~ Chapter 77 ~

I was lowkey gonna post this weekend so yall should thank Harry for doing that doctor SNL sketch because it's why we are here right now LOL

Chapter 77
Saturday December 16th
Mallory's POV

There's many times I've looked back on my childhood and wondered what life would be like now if it was different.

I think back on all the times that I was a little girl, the sad one in the corner of the classroom with clothes that fit too small and materials worn down from the year before, watching all of the other kids. The times we would have classroom parties always hurt the most, witnessing on the sidelines all the smiles of the other kids as their family members walked in through the door, ready to celebrate before Winter break. In my true fashion, I always waited patiently hoping that maybe this would be the year that my mom and dad decided to join. I always left the flyer near their stash of alcohol, learning early on that it would be the place where they would see it, but I never considered the fact they wouldn't pay attention to it.

It was part of ability to try and constantly see the good in those around me. The kids at school would make a comment about my backpack being "lame" or "out of style" and I would tell myself they were having a bad day. I'd get picked last for games and considered the fact it was valid for them to pick their friends before me. More importantly, I would listen as the party began and convince myself that my parents were just running late and they'd be there soon, and then eventually comfort myself that there was always next year.

From as early as I could remember, I was a compliant victim in allowing myself to get my hopes up. It was almost like I couldn't help myself. My brother always tried to get me to see the reality of the childhood we were living, there were many of times he danced around the subject that they didn't care about us, and I tuned it out with the logic that they were struggling.

No matter how many times he warned me, I still helplessly put all my trust in the wrong people. I'd wake up on Christmas morning and my face would drop when there wasn't anything under the tree that Noah and I worked so hard on, besides the little trinkets he would steal from the school holiday gift shop to put a smile on my face. I'd come home ready to share my good grades or the fact I earned student of the month at school and my words would trail off when I realized they weren't listening. I remember sitting through my high school graduation not knowing if they were there, until my name was called and the only people in the audience I heard cheering for me were Noah and Veronica.

You would think eventually I would learn my lesson.

I would stop giving them the benefit of the doubt, or I would come to term with the same facts my brother did. Eventually when somebody lets you down over and over again, you realize that it's a lost cause.

As a child, my reluctance to accept that stemmed from the fact that for a long time I didn't know any better. I was a little girl, seeing other families at the playground laughing and smiling, wishing that one day it would be me. I clung to that ideology in my mind so deeply, even though it was something so far out of reach.

As I got older and started to realize the patterns, really understand what my parents were doing and why they were never around, I came up with excuses. I was older now, Noah had been patiently waiting for the day that I could grasp my head around it and lose that childhood innocence I tied my hands around. He's slightly older than me, and due to the fact he raised me like I was his own, his mindset was very different than my own. He couldn't wait for me to become a teenager and accept what he's been telling me for years, no longer having to beat around the bush.

He couldn't wait for me to be on his side.

Except I wasn't.

Noah and I were always very close. He took care of me, he made sure I got to school on time, he cooked me dinner, he helped me with homework, he read me stories and tucked me into bed, Noah did everything. From the time I was brought home and Noah was made to keep me alive, we formed an inexplainable bond. It came to a point where we weren't just siblings, but rather we were the only thing the other had.