Saviour A Black Veil Brides Love Series #Wattys2015

Chapter Nineteen Raven

            How, how did this all happen to me? Meeting the guys was an awesome experience, but, but falling in love with Andy?

            I never meant for that to happen.

            I never meant to fall in love.

            But that’s the funny thing, I did without meaning to.

            Leaning against the brick wall I watched as people walked around with a destination in mind for themselves, things needed to get done with so little time to do them in.

            Time, that’s another funny thing, with twenty four hours in one day you would think that would be enough for somebody to get everything done. But when you don’t have anything to do, and you’re just waiting, waiting for something to happen, it’s too much. Those twenty four hours become too much to handle, give too much time to think, and at this point with everything that’s happen, thinking is the last thing I need to do. It only brings pain, so much pain that I double over holding my sides as if I’ve been shot or lost the only thing that’s meant the most to me.

            Having that happen to you once, it sucks, but a second time, I don’t know how, but it makes it so, so much worse than the first one.

            Feeling something cold and wet hit my face I looked up and realized that it was raining, buckets. And I didn’t realize it either. Slowly getting up I tucked my hands in my sweatshirt and bent my head so the wet rain didn’t get into my eyes. Funny how this matched how I felt, cold, wet, miserable. Thankfully the rain masked my tears. I kept on walking, not caring when my shoes stepped in a puddle, getting my feet soaked.

            My father wouldn’t care. That man, he didn’t give a fuck about me, he hasn’t in two years since she died. He hasn’t even acknowledge my living presence before so why should he now?

            Why? Now that’s a good question.

            Why?  

            Why do things happen like dying happen?

            Why does love happen?

            Why do bad things happen to good people, and why do good things happen to bad people?

            Why do we even try when life is so unfair that it’s at the point of questioning even living?

            Why do I have to suffer my mother’s death every single day of my life?  

            Just, why?

            If somebody could answer my questions with an answer that made sense, that explained things, life would be so much easier to understand. But things don’t work like that; they’ve never worked like that and most likely never will.

            But why not?

            Stopping at the edge of the pond I stared at my reflection. I was soaked through the clothes I was wearing, no longer warm. My eyes rimmed with red, the only way you could tell that I was crying in the first place. And somehow, I saw her.  There in the pond were the women that I loved from the day that she gave birth to me, the one who loved me absolutely and unconditionally, always saying that she was proud to have me as me.

            In her black dress holding and matching shoes, her black hair slightly waved as it fell past her shoulders. Those grey eyes that shone so brightly, held a small amount pity now, a look I’ve never seen her wear before. Her skin, pale as mine but looked healthy unlike it was with a greyish tint in her last days. Lips painted a red that I envied as a young girl, with an hour glass figure that I fought for in middle school.

            There in the pond, standing next to me was her.

            My mother,

            My mother who had died.

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