Saviour A Black Veil Brides Love Series #Wattys2015

Chapter Twenty Raven

         

            Staring at my mother I couldn’t tell if I was going crazy or if it was really happening. I knew I couldn’t tell anybody this because they would send me to a house for crazy people. Looking away I counted for ten seconds then looked back to see her still there.

            Okay, so this was really happening to me.

            Or I just finally lost in and belong in a nuthouse.

            “What are you doing here,” I whispered. She pulled her red painted lips up into a small smile and spread her hands out, as if she was saying that I had to figure it out myself. “Thanks, that’s so helpful mom.” I spat. Again she smiled and shook her head. She sighed then looked around as if seeing that she was in the pond for the first time, she disappeared.

            “This is better,” Jumping I turned around to see her standing next to me, straightening her dress out to get rid of any wrinkles. She looked at me and gave me a real smile, not a sad smile that she gave twice in a row.

            “How, how are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” I asked.

            “Oh honey, I know that this is confusing but you have to believe that I am here, but that I am dead.” I opened my mouth to speak but she cut over me. “Not right now, I need to talk to you about Andy sweetheart.” This time I closed my mouth and looked at the ground.

            “What’s there to talk about, he lied to me.” I murmured, kicking at the dirt that stood in my foot’s path of destruction.

            “Raven, Andy never lied to you, he didn’t get to tell you. And running off? Why didn’t you just tell him that you had to go instead of having him worry about you?” I shrugged my shoulders. I looked up and saw my mother staring at me, studying me almost.

            “Look at the pond Raven.” I did what she said and watched her wrap an arm around my bony shoulders. “I never meant to make you feel like I had taken you when I died sweetie and I never wanted you to suffer because of this. Yes, a person can be so much alive, but be completely dead, just like someone who is dead can be completely alive. You are not dead; you just don’t have any idea or know how to cope with this. But I know you, you are my daughter and I know that you can get through this. And sometimes that means letting people in so they can help you. I know your father hasn’t been very helpful for these past two years, but I’m sorry to say that he has given up. But you haven’t Raven, you haven’t given up. Can you think of anybody else that could help you? Maybe a certain male that you know,”

            My mind went to Andy, immediately remember when he found me getting ready to cut, then to the times that he made me feel safe, when he just made me feel again.

            The left side of my mouth lifted up into a grin as I continued to think about him and how much he meant to me. How much I love him.

            “I love him,” I whispered. Remembering that my mother was standing next to me I looked at her to see her smiling but fading out.

            “I know you do, but I think it might be better if you told him.” We stared at each other before giggling like we used to before she got sick, before the cancer started to take its toll and claim her as another victim.

            “Mom, I miss you,” Without thinking I reached out to hug her but my arm went through her this time.

            “I’m running out of time sweetie, won’t be long until I have to go.”