Saviour A Black Veil Brides Love Series #Wattys2015

Chapter Twenty Two Raven

            Taking in a shaky breath I looked up at Andy as he took in everything that I said as we sat in my car from the rain that had suddenly started. His hair was sticking to his face along with his clothes but he still had that look of wonder on his face when he first saw me. But now it was mixed with confusion.

            He rubbed his face and looked down at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.

            “Andy, say something, please” I whispered. I swallowed and looked down at my hands, wishing that the heat would hurry up and get warmer than it was.

            “I’ve been here wondering what the hell happened, what I did to make you run away all this time. A week I spent wishing I went to your house to talk to you, to tell you, only for it to not be me but you.” I winced as he started to sound angry.

            “I’m sorry Andy, but I was scared, I didn’t know what to do, I’ve never loved anyone before and was afraid so I took the easy way out. I should have gone back to the bus but Jake had…”      

            “…had found you at the park you told him that you didn’t want to be seen with us and called us freaks. That you never wanted to see us ever again and that you were embarrassed to be seen out in public with us. That’s what you did instead.” He snapped causing me to jump.

            “Andy, I never said that. Jake came to my house and snuck through my window as I was taking a shower and when I came out told me that you guys were leaving the next day to finish your tour. Jake was the one who told me that instead when it should have been you to tell me. He said that everyone had figured that I knew when I didn’t. What was I supposed to do? Just be okay when the guy that I love’s best friend tells me that when it should be you?” I snapped back.

            This wasn’t how I wanted things to work out when I found him. No, I didn’t expect everything to be perfect, but not so that we were snapping at each other as I tried to explain to him why I had run. Andy was shocked but still hadn’t said anything.

            “And I didn’t go to the park that day Andy, I had went home so I could get ready for school. I hadn’t gone to the park until three days ago when I realized how fucked up my life was. I left home because I had to fix things between us, to tell you that I love you, and because I didn’t want to just give up on everything like my father had.” I stared at him as I waited for an answer. I did my talking; now the ball is in his court to handle. But the silence kept on going and going on till it seemed like we were over.

            “I felt miserable, cold, tired, confused without you. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you Andy, but I did because that’s how life works. Things that we don’t mean or expect to happen, they happen. The days seemed to never end as I started questioning why everything happened. I hated that because the longer the day felt the more I thought which just brought more pain to me. I was used to my father not even acknowledging me and I hated it. I hated how he acted when my mom died. I asked and I asked but I never got an answer, because you know why?” I looked at him to see him watching me this time.

            “Because we’re not supposed to have others answer those questions for us, that’s not how life works, we have to find a way to deal with the pain and move on, to find those answers for ourselves no matter how fucking hard it is. Andy,” I took a deep breath to get through this, fearing the worst on how he would react, “I’ve already lost someone that cared deeply about. You’ve seen what I went used to get through the pain, just tell me now if you want me here or not. Tell me now so I know whether to stay here or go back to Utah and try to deal with that. So I know whether this was a mistake coming here or not.”