Saviour A Black Veil Brides Love Series #Wattys2015

Chapter Forty Eight Lisa

            Biting my finger nails I paced back and forth in the living room. Jace was down for his nap and Raven was out with Andy before the guys went back on tour. I knew in the back of mind that this would happen but I never believed it, he didn’t like it when I thought about the negatives about being in the army.

            Clutching the dog tags in my hand I blinked back the tears that were building up, they could wait till later. Right now I had to finish the paperwork that I kept in the drawer not really thinking I would ever need it. Thinking that Jace would have us to keep him safe and be there. I knew that not everything was perfect and never lasted, but I put a blind eye to it all the day I feel in love with Freddy and the day Jace came into this black and white yet colorful world.

            Finally crashing onto the couch I pulled my knees up to my chest as I tried to hold everything together so that it wouldn’t fall apart. Why did this have to happen? We did everything we could. I loved my husband and remained faithful and he did the same. We love our son and do everything so he would feel love.

            But Jace wouldn’t even know his daddy now.

            Looking up I wiped under my eyes to get rid of anything wet when i locked onto our wedding photo. Smiling I cradled it in my hand as I looked at Freddy dressed in his uniform and me and a simple flowing gown. Instead of looking at the camera Freddy was looking at me, his eyes were sparkling with so much love they practically oozed it.

            “Freddy,” I whispered. I wiped away a tear that fell onto the picture and continued to stare at the picture. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, we were supposed to grow old together, watch our son and possibly other children grow up. Freddy always wanted a big family after growing up a single child.

            “You were my forever Freddy,” I cried, “now what am I supposed to do?” I cradled the picture to my chest and cried. The dams broke and everything came pouring out. I wanted to scream, punch the walls, break something anything. I wanted to scream at God and curse him out for taking away the greatest thing in my life away from me. This was supposed to my happy ever after, the thing that made everything better after all the hard work you do in life.

            But I couldn’t, I had a one year old down the hall sleeping. I had to think of what I did because it would affect him in the end too. I had to protect him from the horrors that life threw at us. God how am I supposed to explain that his daddy isn’t coming back?

            Taking a shaky breath I stood up and made my way to Jace’s room gently pushing his door open. The blinds blocked out the sunlight so he could sleep. Walking into his room I sat on the edge of his bed and just looked at him. He was so much like Freddy already. Leaning forward I pushed his hair back and noticed that his blanket on the ground. Picking it up I could see the monkeys on it and smiled. Freddy had a thing for monkeys and without saying anything put it in the cart as soon as he saw it.

            Jace treasured this blanket, it took me an arm and a leg to be able to wash it when his dad wasn’t here. Blinking back the tears I kissed his forehead and walked out of the room shutting his door shut. It was then that I heard the front door open along with two voices. Sniffling once more I jogged to the front entrance just in time to see Andy walk in behind Raven. Just looking at me, she knew something had happen.

            “Lisa, what’s wrong?” Raven left Andy’s side and came next to me. Instead of speaking, fearing I would break down, I handed her Freddy’s dog tags. Faintly I heard her whisper oh my god to Andy.

            “I was wondering if you two could do me a favor.” I said, sniffling again.

            “Anything Lisa, you’ve done so much for us already,” Andy said, giving me a hug.

            “It’s about Jace,” I started, watching as they shared a look. “He doesn’t have any godparents, and Freddy and I never really thought of it thinking he would be old enough to take care of himself if something was to happen to one of us…”

            Confused Andy wrapped his arm around Raven, “Lisa…”

            I cut him off before he ruined my hopes, “… And I trust you guys so much already, Jace loves you two as well so it only makes since. But if it’s too much to ask then I understand completely…”

            “Yes.” Raven said. Stopping I looked at her as she moved so she was in front of me with her hands on my biceps. She smiled and brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes.

            “Yes, we will. Andy and I will be Jace’s godparents.”

            “Really?” I whispered.

            Andy walked up and stood behind Raven and had a smile on his face, “Really.”

            Looking up to their faces I could see how much they truly cared, you could see it in their eyes that this was important to them.

            “Thank you,” I managed, “thank you.” Raven smiled and wrapped me in her arms along with Andy as I started to cry. They didn’t say anything but stayed with me, just rubbing my arm or back was enough to comfort me. After a couple minutes I was able to calm down and with their signatures, finish the paperwork for them to become Jace’s godparents legally.

            “I’ll see you in two weeks Andy, love you.” Raven said. I smiled at the sight. Andy had his head tucked into the crook of Raven’s neck and shoulder with his arms wrap around her middle refusing to leave.

            “But I want you with me,” he whined.

          “I will be with you in two weeks. Right now I need some well-deserved girl time with Lisa. We have these two weeks planned down to my last hour and I am not missing any of it. Now go, and rock the concerts.” Hearing that I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as I got under the blankets I brought out while looking at the movies I thought would be good.

            “Alright, two weeks and that’s it, after that you’re mine. Love you babe.” Andy finally said.

            “Bye, be careful,” Raven shouted. Faintly I could hear a laugh and a promise to do so until the door closed out any other sound. I looked up when she plopped onto the couch and nudged my foot. Her face was somber as she looked at me and gave me a very small smile.

            “Don’t worry,” Raven whispered, bringing the tears back to my eyes, “you’re not alone.”