My Life with the Boys

Chapter 37- The Birthday Curse

I walk over the place that is so familiar to me for the first time in years. The cemetery. As usual I go to see my brothers grave first.

"Hey Andy. You would be nine today. I am sorry I haven't visited you lately but I now live further away. I also have been busy with my daughter. You would have been an uncle. We all miss you and love you even though you didn't get a chance to live. I just wanted to stop by and say hi and that I love you." I say out loud.

Next, I go to the place I was dreading.

Here lies Ethan Daniels,

Loving son, brother and friend.

And he would have been a loving father too.

"Hi. I know I should have been here before now. I am sorry. I wasn't ready but I am now. I heard your voicemail last night. The one you left to Zack the night you died. It was strange to hear you voice. There are things I need to say. And I know I won't get a response and people probably think I am crazy and weird but I hope that somehow you can hear me. I need you to hear me." I pause. "You have a daughter. Her name is Evie. Evelynn. Just how you wanted. She is beautiful. So much like you. One day she is going to ask me about you. About who her dad is. And I will tell her that you were the best man I know. That you were kind, smart, handsome, funny, caring. That you were the best person because you were letting go of someone you love to make them happy. I love you. And I always will." I finish.

Then I go to my last stop for the night. Susan.

"Hey there. Your son is getting married. I am not sure if he told you that. I am sure they will be happy together." I lie. I am a knot to leave when I change my mind. "Was your son always an idiot? I mean he could have told me about the voicemail. And he didn't. And now he is marrying some bitch. I mean I don't even know why I care so much. I mean I should be happy for him. But all I can think about is pushing her off a cliff. Dramatic I know but she is so annoying. And she doesn't deserve Zack, even if he does make stupid decisions sometimes. He is amazing. And he deserves someone who is going to compromise and love him for all the bad stuff and well as the good. I mean does she even know how lucky she is. Zack has practically been raising Evie with me. He embarrassed a bully in front of the entire school when she was mean to me. He warned off all the bad guys. He did anything I asked. He supported me. He was the first person to tell me they loved me." I pause.

"I am still in love with him, aren't I?"

***

Age 23

"Surprise!" Everyone shouts as I enter the bar.

"Uh..." I look at everyone confused.

"You didn't forget your own birthday did you?" Nicole asks me.

"Of course not." I lie.

"Well don't just stand there. Let's party!" Sam announces.

I was told to come over to the bar the day after I got home from visiting my parents. The rest of the trip was kind of awkward. I avoided Zack and Natalie for several reasons. One, they were fighting still about the wedding. Two, I didn't know how to confront Zack about the voicemail. And three, I didn't know how to deal with my feelings and didn't want to make things awkward. Also I guess number four would be that Natalie is a bitch.

"So were you surprised." Laura asks me.

"Definitely." I respond.

"You forgot, didn't you." She asks me.