One sick love story

Forgiveness

Steadily, I walk towards Ben's front door, wearing just my pyjamas and a blanket.
I needed some time to think after he rang me. I know I shouldn't have, but I hanged up the phone after he asked me if I would forgive him. After about an hour I got chelsea to drive me to his house. And now I'm standing by his front door preparing to see him for the first time since our fight.
I gently knock on door with my weak knuckles, this is the most I've moved all month to be honest.
Then I hear footsteps running down the stairs. He takes a breath but then speedily opens the door. We just stare at each other in disbelief for a while, until I utter the words.
"I forgive you."
A small tear runs down his flushed cheek and then he jumps out his flat to hug me.
But he does more than that.
He grabs me by the hips and twirls me around with a huge smile on his face. Just like he used to do, when we were together. Then with my legs dangling in the air he kisses me on the forehead.
After lowering me, he presses hard on me with his plump lips.
"I didn't know what to think, after you hanged up the phone, I never thought I was going to see you again." Ben whimpers.
"It's okay ben. Let's just go inside."
I try and walk in but almost trip up over the first step.
"Darcy, let me carry you."
I don't refuse, I missed how he used to hold me when I wasn't feeling my best. Even though I feel extremely sick and dizzy, I can't wipe the smile off of my face.
We enter into his living room and he places me on his lap as he sits down.
"Darcy I don't know where to start, I was an idiot, I wasn't thinking straight I-"
"Stop... There's no need to explain anything. I forgive you!"
His flushed cheeks rise up from the large grin on his face. Then slowly, we lean closer towards each other until our bodies are touching. Our lips dance perfectly in sync together, like we were meant to be. I've missed this so much, it's like I can actually feel my heart joining back together again, after the amount of trauma it took whilst we were apart.
We finally release from each others arms but still hold the smile on our faces.
"Sorry, I must look like a tramp!" I say, staring down at my pyjamas.
"No, you look all sweet and cosy in your dressing gown. It just makes me want to hug you... And kiss you even more."
I look back up at him and giggle.

We spend most of the afternoon just kissing and talking. Until it's time for dinner. I haven't really eaten a proper meal for a while, so I tell ben to just give me a snack.
"That's alright ben, I don't really want anything."
"Are you sure Darcy?"
"Yes, I'll just have some fruit or something."
"Okay!" And for the first time he actually agrees with me. He doesn't force me into doing something I don't want to do... Which shows me he has grown.
He gives me an apple and a slice of toast. Quite random, but it will do.
Whilst he sits their eating his Chinese, we have a chat and catch up on a few things.
"So how's life been?" I ask.
"Well... It hasn't really been great. I couldn't concentrate because I was thinking about... Never mind. How's your life been?"
"I will some it up in two words for you... Cancer. And sick."
" oh,Have you been ill lately at all then?"
"Being ill is my life now. That's what I'm living for. I'm being ill so that I can live. The chemotherapy is making me really sick. So every time I have it done now, I have to stay in hospital for over a week. Sometimes even on oxygen.
It's horrible, especially whenever your alone."
"Oh Darcy." He drops his plate and runs over to me. "I will make sure that that never happens again. You will never be alone, this is why I didn't want to be apart from you for so long. It was so hard just leaving you to suffer by yourself."
"Thanks ben. I have another week of chemo in 2 weeks If you would like to come and waste your time in a hospital room, watching me throw up."
" I would love to waste my time watching the one I love, vomit. I will catch it, if I have to."
We both laugh and then he walks back over to his Chinese.

--

After 3 whole episodes of friends, cuddled up to each other, the phone starts to ring.
"I'll get it." Says ben. "Hello, who is this?"
I watch him and try and figure out who he's talking to.
"Darcy it your mum. You might want to speak to her."
He passes the phone to me shaking but kind of laughing.
"Hi mum." I say cautiously.
"Sweetie where on earth have you been, I've been worried sick?"
"Sorry mum, I'm just at bens house."
"Are you okay?"
"Yes I will explain later."
"Well when are you coming home?"
I look up at ben, and he attempts to mime the words 'stay overnight'.
"Um... Well... about that. I was wondering if I could stay over night."
There's a moment of awkward silence. I understand it must be hard for a teenage girls mum, to decide whether her daughter should be allowed to stay round her boyfriends house.
"I don't know Darcy."
"Oh please mum, I'll be good. promise. When have you ever known me to do anything wrong?" I say In my sweet, innocent  tone.
"Allwright then. But be good, and make sure ben looks after you. Come straight home if you feel sick."
"Mum I'm not a baby, I can look after myself. I'll be fine, stop worrying. Say goodnight to Luke for me."
"I will... Bye."
"Bye!"

I put down the phone and turn to ben.
"She said yes." I shout.
"Yay! But you've got to promise me that if you feel sick you will tell me, and I will take you straight home."
"I promise mummy."
We both break down in tears of laughter, until my tears start to become real. My stomach suddenly cramps over, and I need to throw up. But I try and hide it, because I want to be with ben tonight.
"Are you alright Darcy?" He asks.
"I'm fine."
"Good, now shall we go to my room?"
"Yeah let's go."
We make it about half way down the corridor(which isn't very long as he lives in a flat) until I bend over and scream in pain.
"DARCY!" He rushes towards me in a panic.
"I'm fine, just need to throw up."
"Okay, wait here, I will get you a bucket."
He brings in a plastic bag "it's all I could find."
But my tummy doesn't care, it just wants whatever's inside of me, out.
He rubs my back, just like he used to, which makes me feel a lot better.

The last chewy lump of sick exits my mouth, (sorry I'm being so explicit) then ben carries me into his room and onto his bed.
"Darcy, do I need to call your mum?"
"No ben please don't. I'm sick all of the time, it will make no difference. I'm happier here with you. Please... Don't let me go."
He cuddles up to me tightly and kisses me gently on my bald head.
"I won't Darcy, i will never let you go."
"Thanks" I whisper, as I'm nearly falling asleep.
"I'll leave you alone for a bit."  He tucks me into his large duvet cover, which I love. I'm used to having a single bed, so when I'm in a double bed I enjoy spreading out as much as I can. It's so much more comfortable and i can fall asleep twice as fast.

--

I'm awoken by sounds of two people arguing. Probably ben and his roommate joe. Because it's a small flat, I can hear everything they're saying. And they soon wake me up.
"So what you two going to be doing in there tonight Huh?" Joe adds with a little giggle. I just roll my eyes, and I'm sure ben is doing the same. He's so immature.
"Shut up joe, she's trying to sleep. She's not well."
"But that won't stop you will it."
"Oh piss off, I'm going to bed now."
"Night, don't be too loud."
Ben just sniggers at him, and then he slowly opens the door.
"Darcy, Darcy are you awake." He whispers.
"Yes. Thanks for that."
"Oh sorry, Joe can be such a-"
"It's okay. I don't mind I'm awake now. How long was I asleep for?"
"Only a couple of hours. It's around 11:30 so you should go back to sleep."
"But I'm awake now."
"Seriously Darcy, you should rest."
He starts to walk out until I find myself shouting for him "ben wait."
"Yes"
"Will you stay with me?" He hesitates but then gladly gets himself comfortable within the large duvet covers.

We roll on our sides so we're facing each other, and we can't help but smile.
"Your so beautiful!" Ben says quietly.
"Really? I'm bald, thin, pale and I'm in my pyjamas."
"I don't care, you don't need to be pretty to be beautiful."
I guess I kind of understand what he is saying. You don't have to look good on the outside to be beautiful on the inside.
"But I'm still ugly"
"Shhhhh!" He puts his finger over my mouth. "Don't speak."
We lean in closer towards each other until our lips meet. It's held longer than ever, I get goosebumps and chills, as I realise what's about to happen.
I feel so sick inside, but I could feel any happier.

--

Beep beep beep beep...
Ben's alarm goes off at 7 for college.
I'm in bed alone, but I can hear him getting changed in the bathroom.
I roll on to my back and back onto my pillow, where I hear a slight crunching sound.
I lift up my pillow to find a letter.
Cautiously, I open the sealed envelope and it reveals a 'forgive me' card. It's basically just all the stuff he said to me on the phone  which he must have wrote a while ago. But then taped to the outside of the card are two tickets.
In big bold letters it reads
Alton towers...