One sick love story

Those three words

The tension in the air is inescapable. Me and my mum are barely able to make eye contact. Finally, Dr. Kartor speaks up, and he gets straight to saying those three words I never wanted to hear again.
"The Cancer's back... I'm so sorry Darcy"
Both the doctors, me, and my mum are lost for words. All there is to see... Is a tear escaping from my blood-shot eyes.
"Darcy, I know it's going to be hard to listen to right now. But things need to happen now... And fast. There's no easy way to put this... But the Cancer hasn't just come back... It's come back worse.
I'm afriad you're already at stage 4. And as you know... There are only 4 stages. It can still be treatable, but it's going to be hard. Harder than last time. I'm very sorry."
Neither me or my mum can find the words to form a sentence at this horrific moment. A moment I hoped I'd never have to re-live. Three words, I never thought I'd have to hear again;
'You have Cancer'

I have Cancer.

Again!

I'm too upset to do much talking, but I have to say something.
"So when does it start?" I suck up my tears, and grovel to Dr.kartor.
"Ideally... Tommorow."
"Tommorow!" My mum suddenly speaks up.
"Yes, Mrs greenwood, Darcy. I need you to both be aware of the situation. It's not necessarily the fact it's come back at a higher stage that's the problem. It's more that it's come back so fast. 5 months... Is not a long time. Which... Unfortunately... Does mean that the Cancer has come back with a fight. Any Disease that can return so shortly after finishing treatment... Is one that will be harder to get rid of. I'm just telling you this, so you'll be prepared. You do have another long road ahead of you, and I guess all I can say is... Stay strong, and fight with everything you've got. I believe in you Darcy. Like all the staff did when you first came to this hospital. You've done it once, you can do it again..."
Once again, I'm left speechless. There are no words hanging off the edge of my lips.
"I... I... I need a minute... Sorry" i angrily stand up off the chair, and slowly walk out Dr. Kartor's office.
But as soon as I get outside, I start running. I don't know where too... I just can't stop. I try and get away from the life and the journey I'm about to go back into.
This isn't right.
I've done this once. I reached my destination.
I was cured!
But now I'm back, back to square one again.
I don't think i can do it.
I just can't do it.

How will I tell ben?
And all my friends.
And the rest of my family.

Luke!
No. Poor little luke. I CANT put him through this again.

I'm going to have to re-live my worst nightmare. It just can't be happening.
Not again... It can't be happening to me.
Please no, God know please. Don't do this to me!!!
I kneel down in the middle of the hospital car park, and let out everything that I've been holding in for the last few hours.

As the last few drops of mascara fall down my cheeks, I eventually get back up and head into the hospital to collect my mum.
I don't want to be here any longer than I have to.
I'm about to walk into Dr.kartor's office, but I see them both having a deep conversation. Unfortunately, I can't hear what they're saying, but I know it's not good. My mum is letting out a tsunami of tears, I think the Doctor may be holding back some too.
It's at this moment, that I realise the seriousness of the situation. He's obviously telling my mum something that he didn't want to tell me. For the first time... I actually DONT want to know what it is.

After finally collecting my mum and recieving a few hugs from the doctors, we're both out of here.

So what comes next?
Things are going to change forever... For a second time.
But this time I can feel already that it's going to be worse. I've already experienced a full year of a sick patients life, and now I have to do it again. It's not fair, I've done my time!
It was a low risk of me actually getting Cancer in the first place... But for me to have the bad luck of getting it again, I honestly don't understand.
But there's no point moaning about what could have happened and why it happened... Because it has happened!
And there's nothing I can do to reverse it.
The only thing is to go through with all the chemotherapy and treatment again. No matter how painful, it will be worth fighting for. I'm fighting for my life. And I know if I don't try... I won't win.