His Ruthless Revenge (A Dark Bully Romance)

Epilogue

Several months later...

Christmas Eve.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, April? We can wrap up warm and have some hot chocolate." My mum asks, grabbing her coat as she heads towards the front door. "It's supposed to be a lovely Carol Service."

"I'm fine thanks but don't rush back. I'm only going to curl up with a Christmas movie and finish wrapping some of your presents." I tell her, eager for her to be on her way so I can have some time alone.

"I hope you haven't spent too much of your money on me." She chastises gently, shaking her head.

"Well, I'm back at work now so I have a bit more to spare and I also want to thank you and show my appreciation for everything you've done for me this year."

"There's no need to thank me for anything. I'm your mum and that's what we do."

"Just so long as you know I really do appreciate it." I remind her, smiling warmly. "Now get going or you'll be late."

She finally leaves the house and I exhale slowly. Now she's out of sight I can finally drop the charade and sit with my own thoughts a while before she comes home and I have to pretend all over again.

Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate my mum and meant every word about her being so helpful this past year but I'm also putting on a front just to make her feel better.

It would kill her to know that I'm just as heartbroken as the day I received my letter from Chase or the day that I bumped into Kerry and Billy on their way to the park.

Everyone says that time makes someone's loss and the pain of having your heart broken that little bit easier but it doesn't. I think it would be more accurate to say that time passing has a numbing affect but it doesn't make the agony go away entirely.

I did decide to take Kerry up on her offer to see Billy occasionally and I join them once a month or so when she takes him out which has been a huge part of my healing process.

You'd think it would make things worse spending time with the little boy who changed everything for me and uprooted my entire life. After all, it was finding out about Louise being pregnant that ultimately destroyed my relationship with Chase the first time around. The only reason that Billy even exists is because of their betrayal and I really thought that seeing him would dredge up all that bitterness and resentment again but it hasn't.

The truth is that Billy is completely blameless in all of this. He's not responsible for his parent's actions and has no idea how he came into the world. All I do know is he has his Daddy's eyes and sometimes that's enough to get me through another week when I'm missing Chase so badly.

I'm sure Billy has mentioned me to Louise at this point but as he still thinks I'm Natalie, we seem to be safe for now. I know it can all be taken away from me in an instant if Louise finds out who I really am but it's a risk Kerry is willing to take and I'm so grateful to her for it.

What I told my mum about watching a Christmas movie and wrapping some presents is true but I also omitted the fact that I still need to wrap a present for Billy as well.

My mum has no idea that I've ever set eyes on him, let alone spend time with him whenever I can. She'd have her own opinions about that and how unhealthy it is for me so I decided not to tell her at all. My therapist knows and she's the one I need to be honest with.

I've been speaking with her for a few months now and really trust her which is reassuring. Together we've managed to create a safe space for me to talk and it's actually made a real difference when it comes to processing the traumatic things I've been through in my life. Opening up to her about my complex relationship with Chase has been the most difficult part but she's been so patient and understanding with me, it actually feels natural for me to open up to her.

I realise how dark it is outside once the movie ends and head towards the curtains at the back of the house so I can close them. My mouth falls open when I realise that it's actually snowing outside. White snowflakes continue to swirl around as I unlock the patio doors and grab my boots so I can step out into the cold.

The crisp icy air hits me the moment I open the door and I inhale it eagerly, holding my hands out so I can feel the snowflakes melt as soon as they touch my skin.

I playfully stick my tongue out so I can catch them, chuckling to myself as they evaporate the second they make contact and allow my head to fall back so I can gaze up at the black sky above me.

It's a clear night with some beautiful stars twinkling back at me and I find myself smiling.

My first genuine smile in months.

"Merry Christmas, Chase." I whisper softly, keeping my private wish to myself. "I love you."

Warm tears slowly glide down my cheeks but I let them fall. Thankfully, Mum isn't around right now so I can cry in peace; grateful for the privacy as well as such a poignant moment to say the words I've been holding in for so long.

Of course I still love him. I'll never, ever stop and I don't know how to. I still don't know if we'll ever see each other again or when that day will be but what I do have is faith. Faith that one day life will lead us back to each other. Somehow.

Until then I'll be patient; content with the knowledge that even though I feel broken, I still have the ability to love someone unconditionally. There's also someone out there in the world who loves me. No matter how long it is until we meet again...

The End.

Thank you so much for completing "His Ruthless Revenge." If you're looking for your next story then please check out the new book I'm currently writing,"Loving Josh" which is also available on Wattpad. An intense, forbidden love romance you won't want to miss! 💙