Is this reality? (Youtuber fanfiction - Alfie Deyes, Jack and Finn Harries)

on a serious note

*Elises point of view*

Me and sophie dried off quickly and headed back up to the rooms, on the way out we met alfie and Sam who had finished changing,

'Hey why don't I just come and get my stuff out of the room so you can have a nice bath and relax and so on, I can go get ready at Sams or something' said Alfie putting his arm around me

'oooh would you mind?' I asked ' I would love a bath actually' 

'no problem' he said smiling

Sophie and Sam hopped into the lift and me and Alfie walked to the stairs, I took a deep breath I wanted to properly sort this out with Alfie

'So about earlier' I said tentatively looking at the ground as we plodded up the stairs

'I thought we were just going to leave it' he said 

'No, I think we should talk about it..'

'Okay fine, but I want the truth'

'Okay truth is it has gotten worse recently.. The memories have been coming back a bit and I have been panicking and crying more, but I have got it under control..' I so hadn't wanted to tell him, I knew he worried so much when he knew

I suffer from anxiety and depression and over the years it has spiraled up and down I hit a low last year.. and when I say low I mean rock bottom.. then it got better, this last year has been good and one of my happiest but then recently I have been thinking back to that 'day' and that makes it all a thousand times worse..

Alfie stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me 'do you trust me' he asked me

'With my life' I said a hundred percent honestly

'Well then why won't you talk to me about this, you know it is better when you do, its not fair for me to find you lying a ball on the ground its scary and it kills me' he said close to tears

'I know and I am sorry.. I just don't like you worrying about me..'

'Oh well you've done a great job of that' he laughed but obviously felt mean and pulled me into a huge hug 'Look El promise me you will talk about it with me'

'Okay Okay I will' I said squeezing him, and I was determined to finally tell him the truth about the letter and the day..