# Scandal of Grace

#Prodigal Princess

G.L. Copyright 2015

YAS' POV

Hindi madali maging dalagang ina. Lalo na sa panahong alam mo na gusto mo pang ma~enjoy ang pagiging dalaga mo.

Ngunit dahil ginawa ko ang isang bagay na hindi ko fully nauunawaan, kailangan at dapat kong panindigan ang mga kapalit at bunga nito.

I was just 19 that time nang mabuntis ako and I'm a graduating students sa kursong business administration sa isang semi private na University sa Mandaluyong. 

Even if I came from a christian family, inactive ang parents ko sa church. Actually they separated since I was 12 yr old.

Since Sunday Schoolers palang ako, alam ko nang tunay si God.

May goal ako after maghiwalay ang mom and dad ko.
This is to not follow their footsteps.

But because of my curiosity sa maraming bagay at kawalan ng proper guidance sa mga sensitive areas of my life, somehow I also took their path. Parang mas worst pa nga ang tinahak kong landas.

I've become a mother at an early age nang walang katuwang.

Prior to that journey of my life, I was very active sa Music team sa church. Marami ngang humahanga sa talent ko sa pag~awit.
People say na gusto nila akong nagle~lead ng worship.

That was when my relationship with the Lord is genuine.

But when I let myself ruled, most of the time ginagawa ko nalang 'yon para magpasikat.

I become more performer than a worshiper.

The time I've learned to lead the worship is when I've learned to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth again.

But unfortunately, nangyari lang 'yon when I was out in the ministry because of what had happened to me.

I admit it. I failed myself. And worstly, I failed God.

Akala ko kasi ako na ang pinaka matatag na Christian. Because of what had happened to my parents, nanindigan talaga ako na hindi ko sila tutularan. I discipline myself purposefully.

I'm proud to say before that I'm one of the role model sa church. Kasama sa mga ina~eye gaya ni Gracelyn at Ivan.
I've never thought na magfail ako.

I thought kaya ko siyang i~handle pero hindi pala.

When the Lord says no. Its really no. Never siyang naging double~minded pagdating sa isang bagay na ipinapakita niya sa'yo.

At matigas ang ulo ko.
Ipinagpilitan ko ang isang bagay na hindi Niya gusto.

I thought once na ako ang pinakamasunurin nyang prinsesa.
I sing for Him and I thought I was His favorite princess.

I forgot na wala pala sa kanya ang word na favorite.

Sa isang guy lang pala ako babagsak. Desperately hiningi ko yung guy sa Kanya, after that nakalimutan ko Siya.

When I met Pete. I've thought he's the one. He's very perfect in my view:

Gentleman. Caring. Appreciative. Sweet. Matalino. Music lover like me. And very masculine.

I have this feeling na maipagtatanggol niya ako anytime and any moment..

Since I was 12 ako nalang kasi ang parating nagtatanggol sa sarili ko. Wala akong ibang maasahan kundi sarili ko lang.

And since I met Pete I felt na binigyan ako ng kakampi ni God through him.

Yung makakasama ko sa lahat ng sandali ng life ko. Yung tatawa sa mga jokes ko... magpupunas ng luha ko... magco~comfort at mag~fill sa longings ko.
I have thought that God really gave him to me. But I was totally wrong.