I Never Told You

14

Slowly I turn over expecting to see Chloe next to me. I reach out searching for her but her side of the bed is cold. I sit up and look around the room. All of her stuff is still here. I throw the covers off of me and walk into the kitchen. Chloe is sitting at the counter doing something on her phone. I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her and placing my head on her shoulder.

"Good morning gorgeous." I mumble kissing her jaw. She smiles a little but doesn't say anything. "What's wrong?" I ask her considering she is ignoring me. I feel a small lump forming in my throat and my stomach is twisting in ways it never has with Chloe.

"Nothing." She finally turns to me and smiles. "Is something wrong?" She asks me acting like the whole thing from last night didn't happen. "I have a job interview today so I need to finish getting ready." A  job interview? She never mentioned a job interview. She waits until I back up to stand up. I grab a cup of coffee before following her to our room.

"You never mentioned a job interview." I mumbles sitting cross legged on the bed, sipping my coffee. "Why am I just now hearing about this?" I ask her. We haven't kept secrets since we started dating. She starts applying makeup to her already gorgeous face. We make eye contact in the mirror but she breaks it.

"You have been really busy with the whole internship and stuff." She shrugs turning it back on me. I stare at her in disbelief. I have never ignored her due to the internship. Not once. I sigh rather loudly but she doesn't look at me.

"K Chlo." I snap at her. This gets her attention. "Whatever you say." I mutter before walking back into the kitchen. I pour myself a bowl of cereal while having a pity party for one. She has been acting so different lately. The comment last night and today are just the icing on top of the cake. She is pulling away for no reason.

I am putting my bowl in the dishwasher when two arms snake around my waist. She kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry babes." She sighs resting her head on my shoulder. "I'm just really stressed about the whole job thing. I didn't mean to take it out on you or make you upset." She tells me with a smile on her face. I turn around so I am facing her. I wrap my arms around her. I stare into those deep blue eyes like my life depended on it. "Why don't we have a movie night and order some pizza?" She suggests kissing my forehead.

"That sounds perfect." I tell her kissing her right back. "Just like you." I mutter into her lips.

I walk into the studio feeling pretty good. I even say hi to a few of the other interns. I sit down at the table along side my boss. We are working together with a new artist that wants to release an album. I don't know who she is but hey I'm excited to be producing an album.

"So nice to finally meet you." I hear my boss exclaim, standing up. I glance up to find Emily shaking his hand. She looks about as shocked as I am. I stand up and shake her hand, being extremely professional. "So you said you have some songs." He says once we are all seated again. Emily pulls out her little book filled with so many songs and ideas. I remember all the nights we spent flipping through that book. "Great. I will let you and Beca here get in the studio right away so you can start working on ideas." He hands me the book and walks back to his office.

"You didn't tell me you were making an album." I say to Emily as we walk back to the same studio we recorder flashlight.

"I know. I just didn't think it would happen and so I didn't tell anyone because what was the point of telling anyone if it wasn't going to happen." She continues to ramble and ramble. I just let her ramble on about it. "So yea." She finally concludes the rambling.

"Ready to start?" I ask her opening the song book.

~~

I set my keys on the counter. I glance up at the clock. It's 5:30 so Chloe should be home by now. I walk into our room expecting to find a cuddled up Chloe with her hair in a messy bun and my favorite pair of sweatpants that look ten times better on her but I don't. I check the bathroom and the rest of the apartment which isn't a whole lot. She still isn't home.

6:30. The pizza sits on the counter untouched. The lid hasn't even been opened. Our favorite bottle of wine sits next to the wine opener along with two glasses. Chloe's favorite movie sits on the coffee table waiting to be played. I sit on the couch waiting for Chloe to come home. I keep impatiently checking my phone waiting for a text. She should be home by now.

7:30. I open the bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass, hoping it will take the nerves away. Still no phone call or text from Chloe. One after another, I down the glasses until I can't read the time on my phone. I stumble to the kitchen sink and get myself a glass of water. I sit at the counter where just a few hours earlier Chloe sat. I stare at the empty seat next to me. She should be home by now. Or I should have gotten a phone call or at least a text.

8:30. I open the pizza box and take a slice. I eat a few bites before throwing it away. I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe Chloe isn't coming home. Maybe she got tired of me and just left. I begin pacing in front of the TV. I grab the nearest pillow and throw it out of frustration. I look at my phone for the fifth time in the past minute as the lamp falls and shatters.

9:30. I text her a few times with no luck. Maybe her phone died. I am sure there is a logically explanation for all of this. I am sure of it. Chloe wouldn't just leave me. She knows what I have been through. She wouldn't just leave me. I throw my phone against the wall, knowing it will break.

10:30. Chloe comes walking in the door as if nothing is wrong. She sets her keys and purse on the counter before noticing the broken lamp. "What happened there?" She asks pointing at the glass. The fumes die down and I a, only left with an empty feeling inside me. I want to yell and scream but thanks to my parents, I know that accomplishes nothing. I let my head fall for a few seconds before looking up at her. She waits for an answer on the lamp.

"Are you cheating on me?" I finally gather the courage to ask her. I'm not sure what I am more afraid of: her answer or her reaction. I look up at her. She is clearly throw off by the question. She takes a few steps towards me before stopping.

"I'm not cheating on you, Beca." She tells me. I breathe a small sigh of relief but I know there is still more to the conversation. "I spent four years waiting for you, do you really think I would cheat on you?" She asks me clearly trying to wrap her head around the question.

"Then why have you been so distant lately?" I ask feeling increasingly insecure. "I want the truth." I add glancing down at the broken lamp.

"I don't know." She sighs running her hand through her hair. She's lying. That's her bluff.

"I can feel you pulling away Chloe." I barely get out. I fight back the tears. I will not let her see me cry because then she will give in and I need to have this conversation. "You are pulling away and I keep trying to pull you back but you just keep going. Why are you pulling away from me, Chloe?"